VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONAL
Article: 06 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENTS
‘If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.’ Proverbs 20v20
Every person on earth was born by a mother and has a male person who fathered him/her. This makes this article relevant to every reader. Even if you have lost all your parents you have some people who play the parental role in spiritual, social or career circles. In this article I am highlighting what you ought to do to your parents.
I heard of a church here in Zimbabwe where there was an outpouring of blessings which came after the pastor instructed the congregants to bring their parents to town and buy them something significant. Those who obeyed got things from God which they had never received after long prayer and fasting sessions. In my personal life, my father cared the most for his mother and he died the most blessed compared to all his siblings. One of my elder brothers sacrificed the most for our family’s well being; he was my guardian from Form One till now; and he has been blessed way ahead of every other person in our family. These are not mere coincidental incidents found in life. I am convinced the parents in question are the source of these blessings. With my eyes I have seen what I have written about changing people’s lives. I can say with confidence this article will change your life for the better if you take heed.
Hating/hurting/offending your parents will take you nowhere. The Shona people had an idea of this when they said that that if you beat your mother for whatever reason you will be haunted (kutanda botso) and some say, you can even go mad. Its taboo to hit your father (baba havarohwi).This reinforces that it is a great moral value to respect your parents. Paul writes Timothy saying, ‘Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father….’ (1 Timothy 5 v 1). It’s like witchcraft to hate your parents. How can you say you love your father in heaven if you can’t love your father on earth who you can see? The prodigal son in Luke 15 was spot on, he knew there was no way he could offend his earthly father without offending his heavenly Father. You might not like or feel like respecting your parents but it is God’s command. You just have no option but you have to follow His commands lest you become a rebellious child like Lucifer.
Learn from the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Noah. They spoke blessings into their children and whatever they spoke into their lives came to pass. To those who spoke a curse into some of their children’s lives till this day it’s still evident in the descendants of these cursed tribes. Some blessings cannot be prayed for in churches, they are hidden in your parents’ mouth. Don’t allow your parents to speak a curse into your life for any genuine reason because God honours their words. The only exception is when their curse is baseless that is where Proverbs 26v2 comes into play which says, ‘a curse causeless will not come.’
Putting a smile on your parent’s face is as good as getting a smile from heaven. By simply putting a smile on your parent’s face you obtain some favour from God. Some long awaited promotions are going to come into your life if you simply do well to your parents and seek forgiveness for any misunderstanding you had with them. Even when you were not really wrong what do you lose by saying I am sorry? Open the floodgates of blessings from your parents’ mouth by constantly doing them good. It’s not out of this world for you to visit your parents neither is it too expensive for you even to write them a letter once every six months? Get used to doing well to your parents because significant breakthroughs are in your parents’ comments about you.
When our parents are in old age it is our responsibility as their children to care for them and to grant them medical attention. We must make sure they are having good nutrition, good warm clothes and that they are well looked after. It brings a curse on your life to neglect your parents. In most families you will never reach consensus as children as to what each person must do for the parents; just do your part even in isolation and God will see your sacrifice and reward you accordingly as an individual. Be good to your parents even if they get to the level of losing their minds, just do your best. Some become very difficult to please in old age but be patient with them and some day you will understand why when you are old yourself. The God whom I serve will reward every labour of love you show towards your parents; don’t relent, your reward from heaven is on the way.
To respect and to honour your parents is the first commandment of the ten which God attached a promise with (Ephesians 6v 2). The promise to observers of this instruction is invaluable – God adds more life to you. So some deaths of youths are a result of failing to observe this law. For example no parent wants his/her child to be a prostitute, if a child dishonours his/her parents by being promiscuous and gets infected by HIV what has killed this person? You are right what would have killed this child is dishonouring his/her parents. God is also a parent that’s why he emphasises that we must respect our parents. How can we claim to love the invisible Parent when we can’t respect our visible biological parents? What you say you will do to God if he was human do it to your parents. He will respect such deeds as good as if you have done them to Him directly.
Many Christians struggle to love their heathen parents but on the contrary God never said respect your good parents only. He said respect your parents and that’s it. He knew some will have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and want to discard their parents. In the new found Kingdom (Christian) life, don’t forget it’s your parent who changed your nappies not your pastor; it’s your parent who paid your school fees not church offerings. You stayed in your parents’ home not parsonage. You ate your parents’ food not Holy Communion. For nine months you were in your mother’s womb not in a crusade tent. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. I am a Christian and I am by no means contemplating that you leave your church obligations and look after your parents. No! I am saying balance the two. God asks for a tithe and on the remaining 90% there is what you must set aside for your parents as well. May all readers say, ‘Amen!’
Your parents–in-law are as good as your parents, respect them as well. If your spouse is cursed you are equally cursed. It’s so because you share your lives; you better help him/her to be blessed by his/her parents. Fathers, it’s a show of great respect to your parents-in-law to pay them their full lobola. To mothers, it’s very evil to accuse your mothers-in-law of witchcraft. You can’t do it without hurting your husband. Even if she is a witch for real, be grateful for the mere fact that she did not eat her child, your husband so respect her for that. By God’s standards even enemies (in this case a witch) must be loved; maybe it’s just that she is hard-hearted but she is not a witch, who knows? Also turning on you the accuser, ‘When did you start moving in the gift of discernment with 100% precision?’ If you are that accurate, ‘Why couldn’t you pick it when you were still dating that your spouse is mothered by a witch?’ Witches are there I admit but here I am saying, ‘If God allows his sun to shine to these witches and let’s his rains to fall on their fields who are you to withhold your love from them especially when you are now closely related to them?’ You are not perfect, tolerate other people’s shortcomings.
Mind the way you speak to your parents. That’s one avenue we get to offend our parents most of the times unintentionally. Minimise quarrelling with your parents even on general subjects for example politics or church issues. You can wisely preach Christ to them without arguing with them. Too few people have ever repented because of an argument they had on issues of Christ and the Holy Ghost. The easiest way to preach to your parents is firstly to get their attention by doing them the best. First show them love and you will easily get heard when you start preaching about Christ to them. Your sermon is most powerful if backed with unquestionable love.
I am not a disillusioned writer by writing this article. I really know that some parents have been very nasty to their children. Some fathers denied their children parenthood, some got to the extent of sexually abusing their children. Some mothers cast evil spells on their children just because they refused to join them in witchcraft. Some mothers sweared that their daughters will never get married for no justifiable reasons. I am aware of all this but I insist that as unreasonable as they were/are; love and respect them. For the mere fact that you were in her womb for 9 months respect her as a mother. For the mere fact that he contributed his seed at fertilisation of your mother’s womb love and respect him as your father. It’s not your duty to punish him/her. God is the judge. Just do your part of honouring your parents as a child. Lest you all be equally to blame for falling short of meeting God’s commands.
One way you can also honour your parents is to prosper in your life. If your parents sent you to school and you excel that brings satisfaction to them with you enjoying the fruits more than them but they will be very proud of you. If you live right with your spouse you have added health to your parents because your divorce or separation makes their blood pressure shoot up. If you get arrested the dishonour of being called the parents of a criminal is too heart wrecking for their ailing health. Spare them from such cruelty. A parent of a drunkard has no joy because he/she will be seeing his/her child ruining himself. A parent of an unrepentant (non God fearing) child is concerned because his/her child is hell-bound. It’s not primitive or short sightedness for your parents to point you to Christ in prayers or words. Please help them by taking heed to what God instructs you to do (repenting and believing) and you won’t go wrong.
One of the core competencies of your parents which you cannot easily realise is their ability to counsel. They went through most of the things you are to go through in life and they are very capable and qualified to give you counsel. They might not be academically learned as you are but in life issues they are professors. Take heed of what you parents advises or advised you. For Solomon to ask for wisdom from God, his father David had taught him, ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom; in all your getting get understanding.’ (Proverbs 4 v7). Take heed of what this Solomon gets to write, ‘My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck. When you walk they will lead you….’ (Proverbs 6v20-22).Your parents might not be the most perfect beings on earth but they are God given. Since they are God appointed so let’s honour them in every way possible. Remember this spiritual key - In whatever you do to your parents you are sowing seeds you will harvest in what your children will do to you in turn.
My Quotable Quote: You are a product of your parents’ sacrifices so respect them always.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. The wisdom presented is Bible based and it is currently circulated for free to people who aspire to be significant people in this world. All issues that affect the fulfilment of vision of each human being are addressed. The founder of Vision Growth International has been specifically called by God ‘to mentor others in these changing times.’ To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENTS
VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONAL
Article: 06 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENTS
‘If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.’ Proverbs 20v20
Every person on earth was born by a mother and has a male person who fathered him/her. This makes this article relevant to every reader. Even if you have lost all your parents you have some people who play the parental role in spiritual, social or career circles. In this article I am highlighting what you ought to do to your parents.
I heard of a church here in Zimbabwe where there was an outpouring of blessings which came after the pastor instructed the congregants to bring their parents to town and buy them something significant. Those who obeyed got things from God which they had never received after long prayer and fasting sessions. In my personal life, my father cared the most for his mother and he died the most blessed compared to all his siblings. One of my elder brothers sacrificed the most for our family’s well being; he was my guardian from Form One till now; and he has been blessed way ahead of every other person in our family. These are not mere coincidental incidents found in life. I am convinced the parents in question are the source of these blessings. With my eyes I have seen what I have written about changing people’s lives. I can say with confidence this article will change your life for the better if you take heed.
Hating/hurting/offending your parents will take you nowhere. The Shona people had an idea of this when they said that that if you beat your mother for whatever reason you will be haunted (kutanda botso) and some say, you can even go mad. Its taboo to hit your father (baba havarohwi).This reinforces that it is a great moral value to respect your parents. Paul writes Timothy saying, ‘Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father….’ (1 Timothy 5 v 1). It’s like witchcraft to hate your parents. How can you say you love your father in heaven if you can’t love your father on earth who you can see? The prodigal son in Luke 15 was spot on, he knew there was no way he could offend his earthly father without offending his heavenly Father. You might not like or feel like respecting your parents but it is God’s command. You just have no option but you have to follow His commands lest you become a rebellious child like Lucifer.
Learn from the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Noah. They spoke blessings into their children and whatever they spoke into their lives came to pass. To those who spoke a curse into some of their children’s lives till this day it’s still evident in the descendants of these cursed tribes. Some blessings cannot be prayed for in churches, they are hidden in your parents’ mouth. Don’t allow your parents to speak a curse into your life for any genuine reason because God honours their words. The only exception is when their curse is baseless that is where Proverbs 26v2 comes into play which says, ‘a curse causeless will not come.’
Putting a smile on your parent’s face is as good as getting a smile from heaven. By simply putting a smile on your parent’s face you obtain some favour from God. Some long awaited promotions are going to come into your life if you simply do well to your parents and seek forgiveness for any misunderstanding you had with them. Even when you were not really wrong what do you lose by saying I am sorry? Open the floodgates of blessings from your parents’ mouth by constantly doing them good. It’s not out of this world for you to visit your parents neither is it too expensive for you even to write them a letter once every six months? Get used to doing well to your parents because significant breakthroughs are in your parents’ comments about you.
When our parents are in old age it is our responsibility as their children to care for them and to grant them medical attention. We must make sure they are having good nutrition, good warm clothes and that they are well looked after. It brings a curse on your life to neglect your parents. In most families you will never reach consensus as children as to what each person must do for the parents; just do your part even in isolation and God will see your sacrifice and reward you accordingly as an individual. Be good to your parents even if they get to the level of losing their minds, just do your best. Some become very difficult to please in old age but be patient with them and some day you will understand why when you are old yourself. The God whom I serve will reward every labour of love you show towards your parents; don’t relent, your reward from heaven is on the way.
To respect and to honour your parents is the first commandment of the ten which God attached a promise with (Ephesians 6v 2). The promise to observers of this instruction is invaluable – God adds more life to you. So some deaths of youths are a result of failing to observe this law. For example no parent wants his/her child to be a prostitute, if a child dishonours his/her parents by being promiscuous and gets infected by HIV what has killed this person? You are right what would have killed this child is dishonouring his/her parents. God is also a parent that’s why he emphasises that we must respect our parents. How can we claim to love the invisible Parent when we can’t respect our visible biological parents? What you say you will do to God if he was human do it to your parents. He will respect such deeds as good as if you have done them to Him directly.
Many Christians struggle to love their heathen parents but on the contrary God never said respect your good parents only. He said respect your parents and that’s it. He knew some will have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and want to discard their parents. In the new found Kingdom (Christian) life, don’t forget it’s your parent who changed your nappies not your pastor; it’s your parent who paid your school fees not church offerings. You stayed in your parents’ home not parsonage. You ate your parents’ food not Holy Communion. For nine months you were in your mother’s womb not in a crusade tent. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. I am a Christian and I am by no means contemplating that you leave your church obligations and look after your parents. No! I am saying balance the two. God asks for a tithe and on the remaining 90% there is what you must set aside for your parents as well. May all readers say, ‘Amen!’
Your parents–in-law are as good as your parents, respect them as well. If your spouse is cursed you are equally cursed. It’s so because you share your lives; you better help him/her to be blessed by his/her parents. Fathers, it’s a show of great respect to your parents-in-law to pay them their full lobola. To mothers, it’s very evil to accuse your mothers-in-law of witchcraft. You can’t do it without hurting your husband. Even if she is a witch for real, be grateful for the mere fact that she did not eat her child, your husband so respect her for that. By God’s standards even enemies (in this case a witch) must be loved; maybe it’s just that she is hard-hearted but she is not a witch, who knows? Also turning on you the accuser, ‘When did you start moving in the gift of discernment with 100% precision?’ If you are that accurate, ‘Why couldn’t you pick it when you were still dating that your spouse is mothered by a witch?’ Witches are there I admit but here I am saying, ‘If God allows his sun to shine to these witches and let’s his rains to fall on their fields who are you to withhold your love from them especially when you are now closely related to them?’ You are not perfect, tolerate other people’s shortcomings.
Mind the way you speak to your parents. That’s one avenue we get to offend our parents most of the times unintentionally. Minimise quarrelling with your parents even on general subjects for example politics or church issues. You can wisely preach Christ to them without arguing with them. Too few people have ever repented because of an argument they had on issues of Christ and the Holy Ghost. The easiest way to preach to your parents is firstly to get their attention by doing them the best. First show them love and you will easily get heard when you start preaching about Christ to them. Your sermon is most powerful if backed with unquestionable love.
I am not a disillusioned writer by writing this article. I really know that some parents have been very nasty to their children. Some fathers denied their children parenthood, some got to the extent of sexually abusing their children. Some mothers cast evil spells on their children just because they refused to join them in witchcraft. Some mothers sweared that their daughters will never get married for no justifiable reasons. I am aware of all this but I insist that as unreasonable as they were/are; love and respect them. For the mere fact that you were in her womb for 9 months respect her as a mother. For the mere fact that he contributed his seed at fertilisation of your mother’s womb love and respect him as your father. It’s not your duty to punish him/her. God is the judge. Just do your part of honouring your parents as a child. Lest you all be equally to blame for falling short of meeting God’s commands.
One way you can also honour your parents is to prosper in your life. If your parents sent you to school and you excel that brings satisfaction to them with you enjoying the fruits more than them but they will be very proud of you. If you live right with your spouse you have added health to your parents because your divorce or separation makes their blood pressure shoot up. If you get arrested the dishonour of being called the parents of a criminal is too heart wrecking for their ailing health. Spare them from such cruelty. A parent of a drunkard has no joy because he/she will be seeing his/her child ruining himself. A parent of an unrepentant (non God fearing) child is concerned because his/her child is hell-bound. It’s not primitive or short sightedness for your parents to point you to Christ in prayers or words. Please help them by taking heed to what God instructs you to do (repenting and believing) and you won’t go wrong.
One of the core competencies of your parents which you cannot easily realise is their ability to counsel. They went through most of the things you are to go through in life and they are very capable and qualified to give you counsel. They might not be academically learned as you are but in life issues they are professors. Take heed of what you parents advises or advised you. For Solomon to ask for wisdom from God, his father David had taught him, ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom; in all your getting get understanding.’ (Proverbs 4 v7). Take heed of what this Solomon gets to write, ‘My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck. When you walk they will lead you….’ (Proverbs 6v20-22).Your parents might not be the most perfect beings on earth but they are God given. Since they are God appointed so let’s honour them in every way possible. Remember this spiritual key - In whatever you do to your parents you are sowing seeds you will harvest in what your children will do to you in turn.
My Quotable Quote: You are a product of your parents’ sacrifices so respect them always.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. The wisdom presented is Bible based and it is currently circulated for free to people who aspire to be significant people in this world. All issues that affect the fulfilment of vision of each human being are addressed. The founder of Vision Growth International has been specifically called by God ‘to mentor others in these changing times.’ To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Article: 06 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENTS
‘If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.’ Proverbs 20v20
Every person on earth was born by a mother and has a male person who fathered him/her. This makes this article relevant to every reader. Even if you have lost all your parents you have some people who play the parental role in spiritual, social or career circles. In this article I am highlighting what you ought to do to your parents.
I heard of a church here in Zimbabwe where there was an outpouring of blessings which came after the pastor instructed the congregants to bring their parents to town and buy them something significant. Those who obeyed got things from God which they had never received after long prayer and fasting sessions. In my personal life, my father cared the most for his mother and he died the most blessed compared to all his siblings. One of my elder brothers sacrificed the most for our family’s well being; he was my guardian from Form One till now; and he has been blessed way ahead of every other person in our family. These are not mere coincidental incidents found in life. I am convinced the parents in question are the source of these blessings. With my eyes I have seen what I have written about changing people’s lives. I can say with confidence this article will change your life for the better if you take heed.
Hating/hurting/offending your parents will take you nowhere. The Shona people had an idea of this when they said that that if you beat your mother for whatever reason you will be haunted (kutanda botso) and some say, you can even go mad. Its taboo to hit your father (baba havarohwi).This reinforces that it is a great moral value to respect your parents. Paul writes Timothy saying, ‘Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father….’ (1 Timothy 5 v 1). It’s like witchcraft to hate your parents. How can you say you love your father in heaven if you can’t love your father on earth who you can see? The prodigal son in Luke 15 was spot on, he knew there was no way he could offend his earthly father without offending his heavenly Father. You might not like or feel like respecting your parents but it is God’s command. You just have no option but you have to follow His commands lest you become a rebellious child like Lucifer.
Learn from the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Noah. They spoke blessings into their children and whatever they spoke into their lives came to pass. To those who spoke a curse into some of their children’s lives till this day it’s still evident in the descendants of these cursed tribes. Some blessings cannot be prayed for in churches, they are hidden in your parents’ mouth. Don’t allow your parents to speak a curse into your life for any genuine reason because God honours their words. The only exception is when their curse is baseless that is where Proverbs 26v2 comes into play which says, ‘a curse causeless will not come.’
Putting a smile on your parent’s face is as good as getting a smile from heaven. By simply putting a smile on your parent’s face you obtain some favour from God. Some long awaited promotions are going to come into your life if you simply do well to your parents and seek forgiveness for any misunderstanding you had with them. Even when you were not really wrong what do you lose by saying I am sorry? Open the floodgates of blessings from your parents’ mouth by constantly doing them good. It’s not out of this world for you to visit your parents neither is it too expensive for you even to write them a letter once every six months? Get used to doing well to your parents because significant breakthroughs are in your parents’ comments about you.
When our parents are in old age it is our responsibility as their children to care for them and to grant them medical attention. We must make sure they are having good nutrition, good warm clothes and that they are well looked after. It brings a curse on your life to neglect your parents. In most families you will never reach consensus as children as to what each person must do for the parents; just do your part even in isolation and God will see your sacrifice and reward you accordingly as an individual. Be good to your parents even if they get to the level of losing their minds, just do your best. Some become very difficult to please in old age but be patient with them and some day you will understand why when you are old yourself. The God whom I serve will reward every labour of love you show towards your parents; don’t relent, your reward from heaven is on the way.
To respect and to honour your parents is the first commandment of the ten which God attached a promise with (Ephesians 6v 2). The promise to observers of this instruction is invaluable – God adds more life to you. So some deaths of youths are a result of failing to observe this law. For example no parent wants his/her child to be a prostitute, if a child dishonours his/her parents by being promiscuous and gets infected by HIV what has killed this person? You are right what would have killed this child is dishonouring his/her parents. God is also a parent that’s why he emphasises that we must respect our parents. How can we claim to love the invisible Parent when we can’t respect our visible biological parents? What you say you will do to God if he was human do it to your parents. He will respect such deeds as good as if you have done them to Him directly.
Many Christians struggle to love their heathen parents but on the contrary God never said respect your good parents only. He said respect your parents and that’s it. He knew some will have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and want to discard their parents. In the new found Kingdom (Christian) life, don’t forget it’s your parent who changed your nappies not your pastor; it’s your parent who paid your school fees not church offerings. You stayed in your parents’ home not parsonage. You ate your parents’ food not Holy Communion. For nine months you were in your mother’s womb not in a crusade tent. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. I am a Christian and I am by no means contemplating that you leave your church obligations and look after your parents. No! I am saying balance the two. God asks for a tithe and on the remaining 90% there is what you must set aside for your parents as well. May all readers say, ‘Amen!’
Your parents–in-law are as good as your parents, respect them as well. If your spouse is cursed you are equally cursed. It’s so because you share your lives; you better help him/her to be blessed by his/her parents. Fathers, it’s a show of great respect to your parents-in-law to pay them their full lobola. To mothers, it’s very evil to accuse your mothers-in-law of witchcraft. You can’t do it without hurting your husband. Even if she is a witch for real, be grateful for the mere fact that she did not eat her child, your husband so respect her for that. By God’s standards even enemies (in this case a witch) must be loved; maybe it’s just that she is hard-hearted but she is not a witch, who knows? Also turning on you the accuser, ‘When did you start moving in the gift of discernment with 100% precision?’ If you are that accurate, ‘Why couldn’t you pick it when you were still dating that your spouse is mothered by a witch?’ Witches are there I admit but here I am saying, ‘If God allows his sun to shine to these witches and let’s his rains to fall on their fields who are you to withhold your love from them especially when you are now closely related to them?’ You are not perfect, tolerate other people’s shortcomings.
Mind the way you speak to your parents. That’s one avenue we get to offend our parents most of the times unintentionally. Minimise quarrelling with your parents even on general subjects for example politics or church issues. You can wisely preach Christ to them without arguing with them. Too few people have ever repented because of an argument they had on issues of Christ and the Holy Ghost. The easiest way to preach to your parents is firstly to get their attention by doing them the best. First show them love and you will easily get heard when you start preaching about Christ to them. Your sermon is most powerful if backed with unquestionable love.
I am not a disillusioned writer by writing this article. I really know that some parents have been very nasty to their children. Some fathers denied their children parenthood, some got to the extent of sexually abusing their children. Some mothers cast evil spells on their children just because they refused to join them in witchcraft. Some mothers sweared that their daughters will never get married for no justifiable reasons. I am aware of all this but I insist that as unreasonable as they were/are; love and respect them. For the mere fact that you were in her womb for 9 months respect her as a mother. For the mere fact that he contributed his seed at fertilisation of your mother’s womb love and respect him as your father. It’s not your duty to punish him/her. God is the judge. Just do your part of honouring your parents as a child. Lest you all be equally to blame for falling short of meeting God’s commands.
One way you can also honour your parents is to prosper in your life. If your parents sent you to school and you excel that brings satisfaction to them with you enjoying the fruits more than them but they will be very proud of you. If you live right with your spouse you have added health to your parents because your divorce or separation makes their blood pressure shoot up. If you get arrested the dishonour of being called the parents of a criminal is too heart wrecking for their ailing health. Spare them from such cruelty. A parent of a drunkard has no joy because he/she will be seeing his/her child ruining himself. A parent of an unrepentant (non God fearing) child is concerned because his/her child is hell-bound. It’s not primitive or short sightedness for your parents to point you to Christ in prayers or words. Please help them by taking heed to what God instructs you to do (repenting and believing) and you won’t go wrong.
One of the core competencies of your parents which you cannot easily realise is their ability to counsel. They went through most of the things you are to go through in life and they are very capable and qualified to give you counsel. They might not be academically learned as you are but in life issues they are professors. Take heed of what you parents advises or advised you. For Solomon to ask for wisdom from God, his father David had taught him, ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom; in all your getting get understanding.’ (Proverbs 4 v7). Take heed of what this Solomon gets to write, ‘My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck. When you walk they will lead you….’ (Proverbs 6v20-22).Your parents might not be the most perfect beings on earth but they are God given. Since they are God appointed so let’s honour them in every way possible. Remember this spiritual key - In whatever you do to your parents you are sowing seeds you will harvest in what your children will do to you in turn.
My Quotable Quote: You are a product of your parents’ sacrifices so respect them always.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. The wisdom presented is Bible based and it is currently circulated for free to people who aspire to be significant people in this world. All issues that affect the fulfilment of vision of each human being are addressed. The founder of Vision Growth International has been specifically called by God ‘to mentor others in these changing times.’ To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
REAL MOTHERS
VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONALArticle: 05 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
REAL MOTHERS
‘Every wise woman buildeth her house but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.’ Proverbs 14v1 (KJV)
As much as men feel called to become powerful God ordained ministers of the Word of God, I feel there is an uncelebrated God ordained ministry which is that of being a mother. Great mothers mentored, taught, prayed and sacrificed for their children who became mighty men of God. Here I have in mind Archbishop Guti, Evangelist John Wesley, Bishop Eddie Long, Prophet TB Joshua to mention just a few. Their mothers contributed immensely in ushering them to Christ. Their mothers never went to the nations or stood before thousands as they do but they were/are behind their success stories. In this article I dared to challenge those called by God to this great ministry of motherhood to contribute even more to the well being of humanity.
Qualities of a virtuous woman which makes her a great mother
One of the greatest scripture which you can come across in the Bible highlighting these qualities is Proverbs 31v 10-31.In summary it points out that:
She is rare to come across (v10).She decides to be unique and its injustice to compare her with any other ordinary woman. . She is trustworthy (v11). She does not unload her husband’s pockets when he is drunk. She means every word she speaks. . She does him (the husband) good, and not harm, all the days of her life (v12). Love charms (mupfuhwira) are not good for your husband. You can’t use the devil’s equipment and remain God’s beloved child. The same faith you put in the juju you can put it in the manufacturer of your husband, God who will change your husband and do a better job than the devil. . She is hardworking (she sleeps less and when awake she is not lazy), business minded and does not eat bread of idleness. (v13-19,27). Being a woman with a profession is no excuse to become lazy. I heard of a lady who asks her maid not only to wash her bras but even her other undergarments. . She is generous (v20). She can easily do this if she earns something using her own hands. It’s not generosity to give away where there is no sweat of yours worse without the consent of the one who sweated for the things. . She makes her husband respectable in society (v23). Such a woman is a testimony of the statement -behind every successful man there is a woman. She is not the type of woman who comes to her husband’s workplace to display that they had a serious misunderstanding the previous night. . Strength and honour are her clothing (v25). She does honourable things and she does not fake sickness to avoid serving in-laws or even creating financial crises to block all avenues her spouse wants to use to help his relatives. . She openeth her mouth with wisdom v26. What a rare virtue to find in a 21st century lady. . She fears the Lord (v30). This is the most important characteristic in a living person. A person who fears God has a very sensitive conscience; to lie is an abomination to such a person. Fearing God and just going to church can be two worlds apart. A God fearer is God conscious in everywhere, every time and in every word spoken. A God fearer is not perfect but is the best person you can ever come across on earth. This lady does not depend on her physical beauty but she depends on God because physical beauty fades and is deceitful. When married beauty won’t count much if character is lagging no wonder why some models are divorced and some out of shape ladies are enjoying their marriages all the way through. Beauty is for boys but men are really after character.’ Issues mothers need to keep in mind in their God –given ministry :
o Is she still different from her sister-in-law to her husband? In 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 the critical issue of conjugal rights is illustrated this way, ‘Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.’ As a married couple, conjugal rights should not be used to reward or punish because this directly invites ‘small houses’. Only prostitutes use their reproductive organs to get something from men; without getting whatever they want there is no bed relationship. Being moody and faking sicknesses amounts to denying your husband conjugal rights. I believe partially why the Bible says, ‘Be angry but do not allow the sun to go down angry,’ it’s because that anger to married people should not interfere with the bedroom relationship. The Bible allows spouses to be angry with each other but by end of day the issues should be resolved and there won’t be infringement of this right. o Did she tell her children their real fathers? Though seeming to be so obvious in everyday life, many situations have resulted in some people not knowing their fathers and some being told the wrong ones. This is wholly the responsibility of mothers. It is a child’s right and privilege to know his/her biological father. For single mothers who were never married remember no reasonable child will ever think you were another Mary, a virgin who had a child. It’s of no use and its evil for you to direct your anger on what your bed mate did to you, on the wrong person who is your child. Please tell him/her his/her surname. A reasonable child will not desert you he/she will appreciate all your sacrifices. If you don’t tell your child someone will guess it for them and all your ex-boyfriends’ names come into play and what a disgrace it is for such a mother. If you love your child tell him/her his/her biological father. Where do you find the boldness to approach God, Almighty, All knowing, when you know that ‘wakatizira’ the wrong man and you spend a lifetime not divulging this to him. You go to church and expect to be in that number when the saints go marching in? Forget! Christianity demands confessing our sins to God and those who we wronged. As difficult as it is sounding it pleases God. If to you it seems to be an impossibility seek counsel from very confidential, mature and wise counsellors on how to open the can of worms. Let’s be responsible for our actions. May all the ladies say, ‘Amen!’
o Whose ideologies is she using in her home? Ladies are by nature opinion seekers so they need to be careful whose opinions they value and implement. Mind your friends can destroy your family. Bad company corrupts good morals. You can become moody and nasty not of your own making but by who you associate with. Eve talked to the devil and she became very evil. Not every theory you hear applies to your home. The Bible says, ‘The simple believeth every word, but the prudent looks where he is going.’ Proverbs 14v15.Have your own opinion that’s why God gave you your own brains and you are responsible for your own decisions not your friends. The Shona say, ‘Zano pangwa une rakowo.’ o Is her value addition still unquestionable? What makes a lady worthy in a men’s life is the extent she helps him with his burdens and vice versa. The Bible gets to say, ‘Bear one another’s burdens…’ Galatians 6 v2 But it calls for a balance by going on to say, ‘For each man will have to bear his own load.’ Galatians 6v5. It’s not calling for parasites but each must carry his/her part and to be helped when it’s necessary. o Is she driven by anger or anger is her servant? Anger is a reality of life. Contrary to exalting short temper, the Bible says, ‘He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly.’ (Proverbs 14v17). Remember the first murder recorded in the Bible was done mainly because the culprit did not control his anger (Genesis 4).The Bible is very practical it says, ‘Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4 v 26, 27). The Bible says, ‘….be slow to anger for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.’ (James 1 v19,20). In anger ladies please ask God not to burst because unfortunately words cannot be withdrawn like the English attempt to assume. The more emotional/reactional you are the less rational you become. Always give yourself time to think, that’s a hallmark of wisdom. o Is she rightfully mentoring her children especially her girls? The mother as the chief operating officer in the family she has a great responsibility of teaching the children good habits like making the bed, eating quietly, and dressing smart for any occasion. She must teach them doing family chores like washing dishes, sweeping bedrooms, brushing teeth etc. Some of the 21st century ladies inadequacies and shortcomings are mentoring-deficiency outcomes. Some girls were never taught the purpose of dressing no wonder they walk around town with bare chests and thighs. The dressing indoctrination was ignored by some mothers. Some ladies get to be married not knowing the basic expectations of husbands no wonder some of their marriages do not last. Some ‘so loving mothers’ mentor their maids better than their girls. For your girl child to have a degree does not mean you can’t tell her some tips on social values. Girls are most of the times lazy to the extent their mothers allowed them to become. o Is she becoming more of a lady or more of a man with time? To be a lady is a virtue but it’s a persistent temptation wanting to act like a man. Ladies are expected to be soft-spoken, gentle, kind-hearted and merciful. When these virtues are lost the lady has lost her feminity. I have nothing against professional women but I have seen most of them making the same submission mistake – husbands are not more concerned about your pay-check than your submission. In you she is not looking for a business partner but a wife no wonder some degreed men go for even the least educated ladies and you wonder what she saw in that lady leaving you (a professional woman).
o Does she choose to forgive her spouse and children? In life mothers will inevitably be offended but they have to choose to forgive or to die with bitterness. One person who was privileged to see a portion of hell was shown a great multitude of women who were burning due to the sin of unforgiveness. May you not be one of them. Talking is not as simplistic as most people think. For communication to be superb great thought needs to be engaged. The source of meaningful wisdom is God of course. ‘… but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.’ (Proverbs 16v1). Ladies your tongue can destroy or build your family. Unwise utterances have ruined some of the greatest marriages. A virtuous woman in wisdom does not call her husband names like chidhakwa (drunkard). A wise mother builds self-confidence in her kids by never calling them stupid, dull and foolish. A bad mouthed lady irks and is very unpleasant to associate with. As uncertain as her mouth is, it’s uncertain if she will remain married. Solomon the wise king who had associated with several women wrote, ‘It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and fretful woman.’ (Proverbs 21v19). He further writes, ‘It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.’ (Proverbs21v9). This shows certain attitudes and characteristics of a lady can chase away a husband from her life.
Never bad mouth your spouse to your children, since that will only create hatred between your child and his/her father. Some husbands have spent more than a year without hearing something sweet from the lips of their spouses. What an omission. Some are known to talk right only when they are after something from their spouses. A mother’s way of talking has great impact on the children’s way of talking no wonder it’s called your mother tongue (not father’s tongue).
In conclusion I would like to appreciate the contributions mothers have made to the well being of the African societies. Whatever I have written, I am by no means disrespecting, looking down, downgrading, or ignoring the contributions of mothers to society. I am very grateful to God for giving us loving, caring, tenacious and wise mothers. Apart from financial contribution, I believe mothers have contributed more than men in the family institute. For real our African mothers have endured, suffered, struggled, wept, got abused a lot but they have chosen to soldier on. Mothers have forgiven some humanly speaking unpardonable acts. Some irresponsible men deserted their families but the mothers remained committed to look after their children. Some children who were changed nappies grow up to talk junk in the face of their mothers but mothers have remained silent as if they forgot that they sacrificed their peace, finances and time to help their kids. Some of these children were HIV-AIDS infected after spending their energy and funds without helping their mothers in anyway only to come to get the home-based care of their mothers. Mothers I salute you.
My Quotable Quote: No one on earth can show love as much as a mother does.
To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ ; or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
REAL MOTHERS
‘Every wise woman buildeth her house but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.’ Proverbs 14v1 (KJV)
As much as men feel called to become powerful God ordained ministers of the Word of God, I feel there is an uncelebrated God ordained ministry which is that of being a mother. Great mothers mentored, taught, prayed and sacrificed for their children who became mighty men of God. Here I have in mind Archbishop Guti, Evangelist John Wesley, Bishop Eddie Long, Prophet TB Joshua to mention just a few. Their mothers contributed immensely in ushering them to Christ. Their mothers never went to the nations or stood before thousands as they do but they were/are behind their success stories. In this article I dared to challenge those called by God to this great ministry of motherhood to contribute even more to the well being of humanity.
Qualities of a virtuous woman which makes her a great mother
One of the greatest scripture which you can come across in the Bible highlighting these qualities is Proverbs 31v 10-31.In summary it points out that:
She is rare to come across (v10).She decides to be unique and its injustice to compare her with any other ordinary woman. . She is trustworthy (v11). She does not unload her husband’s pockets when he is drunk. She means every word she speaks. . She does him (the husband) good, and not harm, all the days of her life (v12). Love charms (mupfuhwira) are not good for your husband. You can’t use the devil’s equipment and remain God’s beloved child. The same faith you put in the juju you can put it in the manufacturer of your husband, God who will change your husband and do a better job than the devil. . She is hardworking (she sleeps less and when awake she is not lazy), business minded and does not eat bread of idleness. (v13-19,27). Being a woman with a profession is no excuse to become lazy. I heard of a lady who asks her maid not only to wash her bras but even her other undergarments. . She is generous (v20). She can easily do this if she earns something using her own hands. It’s not generosity to give away where there is no sweat of yours worse without the consent of the one who sweated for the things. . She makes her husband respectable in society (v23). Such a woman is a testimony of the statement -behind every successful man there is a woman. She is not the type of woman who comes to her husband’s workplace to display that they had a serious misunderstanding the previous night. . Strength and honour are her clothing (v25). She does honourable things and she does not fake sickness to avoid serving in-laws or even creating financial crises to block all avenues her spouse wants to use to help his relatives. . She openeth her mouth with wisdom v26. What a rare virtue to find in a 21st century lady. . She fears the Lord (v30). This is the most important characteristic in a living person. A person who fears God has a very sensitive conscience; to lie is an abomination to such a person. Fearing God and just going to church can be two worlds apart. A God fearer is God conscious in everywhere, every time and in every word spoken. A God fearer is not perfect but is the best person you can ever come across on earth. This lady does not depend on her physical beauty but she depends on God because physical beauty fades and is deceitful. When married beauty won’t count much if character is lagging no wonder why some models are divorced and some out of shape ladies are enjoying their marriages all the way through. Beauty is for boys but men are really after character.’ Issues mothers need to keep in mind in their God –given ministry :
o Is she still different from her sister-in-law to her husband? In 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 the critical issue of conjugal rights is illustrated this way, ‘Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.’ As a married couple, conjugal rights should not be used to reward or punish because this directly invites ‘small houses’. Only prostitutes use their reproductive organs to get something from men; without getting whatever they want there is no bed relationship. Being moody and faking sicknesses amounts to denying your husband conjugal rights. I believe partially why the Bible says, ‘Be angry but do not allow the sun to go down angry,’ it’s because that anger to married people should not interfere with the bedroom relationship. The Bible allows spouses to be angry with each other but by end of day the issues should be resolved and there won’t be infringement of this right. o Did she tell her children their real fathers? Though seeming to be so obvious in everyday life, many situations have resulted in some people not knowing their fathers and some being told the wrong ones. This is wholly the responsibility of mothers. It is a child’s right and privilege to know his/her biological father. For single mothers who were never married remember no reasonable child will ever think you were another Mary, a virgin who had a child. It’s of no use and its evil for you to direct your anger on what your bed mate did to you, on the wrong person who is your child. Please tell him/her his/her surname. A reasonable child will not desert you he/she will appreciate all your sacrifices. If you don’t tell your child someone will guess it for them and all your ex-boyfriends’ names come into play and what a disgrace it is for such a mother. If you love your child tell him/her his/her biological father. Where do you find the boldness to approach God, Almighty, All knowing, when you know that ‘wakatizira’ the wrong man and you spend a lifetime not divulging this to him. You go to church and expect to be in that number when the saints go marching in? Forget! Christianity demands confessing our sins to God and those who we wronged. As difficult as it is sounding it pleases God. If to you it seems to be an impossibility seek counsel from very confidential, mature and wise counsellors on how to open the can of worms. Let’s be responsible for our actions. May all the ladies say, ‘Amen!’
o Whose ideologies is she using in her home? Ladies are by nature opinion seekers so they need to be careful whose opinions they value and implement. Mind your friends can destroy your family. Bad company corrupts good morals. You can become moody and nasty not of your own making but by who you associate with. Eve talked to the devil and she became very evil. Not every theory you hear applies to your home. The Bible says, ‘The simple believeth every word, but the prudent looks where he is going.’ Proverbs 14v15.Have your own opinion that’s why God gave you your own brains and you are responsible for your own decisions not your friends. The Shona say, ‘Zano pangwa une rakowo.’ o Is her value addition still unquestionable? What makes a lady worthy in a men’s life is the extent she helps him with his burdens and vice versa. The Bible gets to say, ‘Bear one another’s burdens…’ Galatians 6 v2 But it calls for a balance by going on to say, ‘For each man will have to bear his own load.’ Galatians 6v5. It’s not calling for parasites but each must carry his/her part and to be helped when it’s necessary. o Is she driven by anger or anger is her servant? Anger is a reality of life. Contrary to exalting short temper, the Bible says, ‘He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly.’ (Proverbs 14v17). Remember the first murder recorded in the Bible was done mainly because the culprit did not control his anger (Genesis 4).The Bible is very practical it says, ‘Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4 v 26, 27). The Bible says, ‘….be slow to anger for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.’ (James 1 v19,20). In anger ladies please ask God not to burst because unfortunately words cannot be withdrawn like the English attempt to assume. The more emotional/reactional you are the less rational you become. Always give yourself time to think, that’s a hallmark of wisdom. o Is she rightfully mentoring her children especially her girls? The mother as the chief operating officer in the family she has a great responsibility of teaching the children good habits like making the bed, eating quietly, and dressing smart for any occasion. She must teach them doing family chores like washing dishes, sweeping bedrooms, brushing teeth etc. Some of the 21st century ladies inadequacies and shortcomings are mentoring-deficiency outcomes. Some girls were never taught the purpose of dressing no wonder they walk around town with bare chests and thighs. The dressing indoctrination was ignored by some mothers. Some ladies get to be married not knowing the basic expectations of husbands no wonder some of their marriages do not last. Some ‘so loving mothers’ mentor their maids better than their girls. For your girl child to have a degree does not mean you can’t tell her some tips on social values. Girls are most of the times lazy to the extent their mothers allowed them to become. o Is she becoming more of a lady or more of a man with time? To be a lady is a virtue but it’s a persistent temptation wanting to act like a man. Ladies are expected to be soft-spoken, gentle, kind-hearted and merciful. When these virtues are lost the lady has lost her feminity. I have nothing against professional women but I have seen most of them making the same submission mistake – husbands are not more concerned about your pay-check than your submission. In you she is not looking for a business partner but a wife no wonder some degreed men go for even the least educated ladies and you wonder what she saw in that lady leaving you (a professional woman).
o Does she choose to forgive her spouse and children? In life mothers will inevitably be offended but they have to choose to forgive or to die with bitterness. One person who was privileged to see a portion of hell was shown a great multitude of women who were burning due to the sin of unforgiveness. May you not be one of them. Talking is not as simplistic as most people think. For communication to be superb great thought needs to be engaged. The source of meaningful wisdom is God of course. ‘… but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.’ (Proverbs 16v1). Ladies your tongue can destroy or build your family. Unwise utterances have ruined some of the greatest marriages. A virtuous woman in wisdom does not call her husband names like chidhakwa (drunkard). A wise mother builds self-confidence in her kids by never calling them stupid, dull and foolish. A bad mouthed lady irks and is very unpleasant to associate with. As uncertain as her mouth is, it’s uncertain if she will remain married. Solomon the wise king who had associated with several women wrote, ‘It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and fretful woman.’ (Proverbs 21v19). He further writes, ‘It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman.’ (Proverbs21v9). This shows certain attitudes and characteristics of a lady can chase away a husband from her life.
Never bad mouth your spouse to your children, since that will only create hatred between your child and his/her father. Some husbands have spent more than a year without hearing something sweet from the lips of their spouses. What an omission. Some are known to talk right only when they are after something from their spouses. A mother’s way of talking has great impact on the children’s way of talking no wonder it’s called your mother tongue (not father’s tongue).
In conclusion I would like to appreciate the contributions mothers have made to the well being of the African societies. Whatever I have written, I am by no means disrespecting, looking down, downgrading, or ignoring the contributions of mothers to society. I am very grateful to God for giving us loving, caring, tenacious and wise mothers. Apart from financial contribution, I believe mothers have contributed more than men in the family institute. For real our African mothers have endured, suffered, struggled, wept, got abused a lot but they have chosen to soldier on. Mothers have forgiven some humanly speaking unpardonable acts. Some irresponsible men deserted their families but the mothers remained committed to look after their children. Some children who were changed nappies grow up to talk junk in the face of their mothers but mothers have remained silent as if they forgot that they sacrificed their peace, finances and time to help their kids. Some of these children were HIV-AIDS infected after spending their energy and funds without helping their mothers in anyway only to come to get the home-based care of their mothers. Mothers I salute you.
My Quotable Quote: No one on earth can show love as much as a mother does.
To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ ; or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
REAL FATHERS
VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONAL
Article: 04 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
REAL FATHERS
‘He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind….’ Proverbs 11v29 (KJV)
The most successful and very beloved of God king of Israel David on his death bed told his son Solomon, ‘Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes… that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn.’ (1 Kings 2v3).In this article I am highlighting some of the key attributes which makes a man move from merely a male to show himself a man in this life. Remember a person is male by God’s predestination but you become a father by choosing to accept the responsibility which comes with the office. Let’s explore the subject.
Although directed towards bishop 1 Timothy 3 v 2-4 is one of the key scriptures which point out the attributes of successful husbands; it reads, ‘must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way.’ From Biblical times it was demonstrated that fathers can prophesy their children’s future. Isaac spoke a blessing in Jacob’s life and his lineage surely became blessed. Jacob blessed his son Judah and through his line Jesus the lion of the tribe of Judah came. Fathers are God ordained priests and prophets of the family that’s why we are urged to respect them no matter how reckless they are. Each father will account to God how he looked after his own family. It’s a serious offence to put the name father into disrepute because God is addressed as, ‘Our Father.’ Ask God to give you grace where you are deficient as a father to change for the better. It’s a process it’s not an event like a wedding, be patient with yourself.
The sweetest thing a father can ever hear on earth is to hear his wife saying, ‘My hub is the greatest person I ever met,’ and your children saying, ‘My dad is the greatest…’ Who else does he ever want to please besides his own family? It’s unfortunate due to natural catastrophes such as death; human catastrophes such as war and divorces a significant size of male population never grows up under the fatherhood of their biological fathers. And to some who lived under their fatherhood did not display attributes of great fathers. I will never forget what my friend once told me, ‘When I grow up I don’t want to be like my father.’ This drove me to write about what fathers are expected to contribute to their families. The roles and duties of a father are:-
1) To provide leadership to the family. The father is the head of the house and he is the chief strategist or CEO of the home. Family guiding principles are the responsibility of the father in consultation with the mother. The father must be a symbol of hope to the family in adversity. The family must be seen to be going somewhere with the responsibility resting on the shoulders of the father. No wonder the family is given the surname of this personality.
2) To provide materially for the family. It is the responsibility of the father to provide for the family although of late mothers have begun to significantly contribute towards the family’s needs. This recent development is not unbiblical because in Proverbs 31v10-31 such a wife is mentioned in detail. Many hands make light work. Excessive drinking; clubbing and prostitution is in my eyes the greatest cause of failure of fathers to adequately provide for their times even in good economic times. Proverbs 21v17 says, ‘He who loves pleasure will be a poor man, he who loves wine and oil will not be rich.’
3) To be exemplary by living a principled life. First critical principle a father must have is I am supposed be a husband of one wife always. This is a great responsibility in this wicked world. God is the one who saw the need of Adam to have a wife and he created him one wife, not two or more Eves were created (although God could easily do that). It’s dishonour for a man to have illegitimate children. Honestly speaking the child is not the illegitimate person but the father is the illegitimate person. Teach your children life principles. Teach them to respect time. Help them never to be late at school. If you say we are getting out at 7 get out at 7. If you say you will collect him/her from school at 5 strive to do that. If you say I won’t miss church please don’t miss church. Your principles are most likely to be your child’s involuntary life principles. How you conduct yourself in anger teaches your child how to respond to irritations in your rage remember your children. Violent spouses are groomed in violent homes. If you smoke three cigarettes a day your child will have a smoke legacy and take it to six. Your way of life as a father acts as the skeleton of your children’s lifetime values.
4) To protect his family. A real man protects his family from anything which is a threat to its well being. The threats might be natural or human; spiritual or physical; financial or idealistic. A great father plays his part well of preventing HIV-AIDS pandemic to have access to his own home by being faithful to his one and only sexual partner, his wife. It pains me to see innocent wives being murdered with AIDS because of an unfaithful husband. May God forbid you to be that cruel! If you were unfaithful and you know you are infected already, confess it to your wife and ensure that both of you use Antiretroviral drugs to minimise the damage. Confess (to your wife and God) and forsake your sins before. God is very willing to cleanse anyone from all unrighteousness.
5) To be very knowledgeable about his family. A father must know the needs and wants of his family. Know in detail how your child is doing in his/her schoolwork. Help your child with his/her homework that will make you realise his/her deficiencies and most importantly keep you closely attached to your child. No one must ever be shocked with his/her child’s performance in final examinations unless there was a sudden slump of performance. Paying your child’s school fees is not the only educational responsibility a father has. A father should also give career guidance to the child because that’s the ultimate goal of educating his child.
6) Right-networking his family. You are not always at home but you have a responsibility to monitor and to know who your kids are playing with and what they spend their time doing? Help your wife, in gentleness (since she is an adult), to closely associate with women who add value to her only. If you are not pleased with her choices as hard as it is, it will be high time to change where your home is. One preacher once said, ‘you choose your child’s friends by choosing the place you stay.’ The Bible says, ‘Forsake the foolish and live….’(Proverbs9v6)
7) To discipline his children. The Bible says, ‘Discipline your son while there is still hope…’ (Proverbs 19v18) and goes on to say, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.’ (Proverbs 22v6). Fathers have a responsibility to teach their children to have values, principles and morals above that they have a punishing role as well. One piece of advice; before you punish your child in any way, first show your unquestionable compassion. Teach your family to be responsible. Teach them to enjoy but not to waste especially food. Teach them financial principles like a fool and his money are soon parted. Never use debt for daily consumption; cut your jacket according to your cloth. Teach your family to be good neighbours, good students and good citizens. Teach them that life is not all about themselves but they are responsible for others as well for example the sick, elderly, prisoners, orphans etc. It takes a father’s considerable attention to have a disciplined child.
8) To decide where to get counsel in good and bad times. Hear me African men seeking counsel is not a sign of weakness or inadequacy but it’s a display of great wisdom because, ‘Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.’ (Prov 11v14). With your wife agree where you are comfortable to get counsel; they might be relatives, friends, fellow Christians or pastors. Make this choice early when things are still rosy since you will not easily agree in bad times. Fire extinguishers are not to be procured when there is a fire outbreak since it will be too late.
9) To make family life fun. The father determines the general atmosphere of the home. If he is always grave faced the home will be tense and if he is always smiling no one feels comfortable not being happy. Yes you can be angry but not for more than a day. Story telling during weekends might be the most memorable part of your family’s reflection. Dare to do a one-on-one meeting to just tell your child, ‘I am proud to be a father to such a wonderful child like you. In you I have realised that children are a gift from God. I love you – (say his/her name).’When you mess up please apologise. A few days after spanking your child talk to him/her what she thinks about it and explain yourself etc. Write your spouse and your kids some small love assurance letters occasionally. Let not a year pass without taking your family out because it refreshes your family environment. Your kids will have something new to talk about. Even the question, ‘when are we going to go out again,’ makes life different.
10) To control the size of the family. A responsible father has a greater financial responsibility for each child born. A child’s future must not be made a game of chance. This demands forward thinking prior to having a child. Agree with your wife the number of children you can comfortably afford to have. Get me right; nothing is wrong in having 20 children if you can afford to fend for the children and also if it does not endanger your wife’s health. On the other hand something is wrong if a couple has four children and go about begging for school fees every school term. I will insist on this point till Africans reproduce according to their financial capacity.
My Quotable Quote: It’s a great honour to be called a father but it calls for great sacrifices. In heaven God is dad and on earth the husband is the dad.
Article: 04 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
REAL FATHERS
‘He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind….’ Proverbs 11v29 (KJV)
The most successful and very beloved of God king of Israel David on his death bed told his son Solomon, ‘Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes… that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn.’ (1 Kings 2v3).In this article I am highlighting some of the key attributes which makes a man move from merely a male to show himself a man in this life. Remember a person is male by God’s predestination but you become a father by choosing to accept the responsibility which comes with the office. Let’s explore the subject.
Although directed towards bishop 1 Timothy 3 v 2-4 is one of the key scriptures which point out the attributes of successful husbands; it reads, ‘must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way.’ From Biblical times it was demonstrated that fathers can prophesy their children’s future. Isaac spoke a blessing in Jacob’s life and his lineage surely became blessed. Jacob blessed his son Judah and through his line Jesus the lion of the tribe of Judah came. Fathers are God ordained priests and prophets of the family that’s why we are urged to respect them no matter how reckless they are. Each father will account to God how he looked after his own family. It’s a serious offence to put the name father into disrepute because God is addressed as, ‘Our Father.’ Ask God to give you grace where you are deficient as a father to change for the better. It’s a process it’s not an event like a wedding, be patient with yourself.
The sweetest thing a father can ever hear on earth is to hear his wife saying, ‘My hub is the greatest person I ever met,’ and your children saying, ‘My dad is the greatest…’ Who else does he ever want to please besides his own family? It’s unfortunate due to natural catastrophes such as death; human catastrophes such as war and divorces a significant size of male population never grows up under the fatherhood of their biological fathers. And to some who lived under their fatherhood did not display attributes of great fathers. I will never forget what my friend once told me, ‘When I grow up I don’t want to be like my father.’ This drove me to write about what fathers are expected to contribute to their families. The roles and duties of a father are:-
1) To provide leadership to the family. The father is the head of the house and he is the chief strategist or CEO of the home. Family guiding principles are the responsibility of the father in consultation with the mother. The father must be a symbol of hope to the family in adversity. The family must be seen to be going somewhere with the responsibility resting on the shoulders of the father. No wonder the family is given the surname of this personality.
2) To provide materially for the family. It is the responsibility of the father to provide for the family although of late mothers have begun to significantly contribute towards the family’s needs. This recent development is not unbiblical because in Proverbs 31v10-31 such a wife is mentioned in detail. Many hands make light work. Excessive drinking; clubbing and prostitution is in my eyes the greatest cause of failure of fathers to adequately provide for their times even in good economic times. Proverbs 21v17 says, ‘He who loves pleasure will be a poor man, he who loves wine and oil will not be rich.’
3) To be exemplary by living a principled life. First critical principle a father must have is I am supposed be a husband of one wife always. This is a great responsibility in this wicked world. God is the one who saw the need of Adam to have a wife and he created him one wife, not two or more Eves were created (although God could easily do that). It’s dishonour for a man to have illegitimate children. Honestly speaking the child is not the illegitimate person but the father is the illegitimate person. Teach your children life principles. Teach them to respect time. Help them never to be late at school. If you say we are getting out at 7 get out at 7. If you say you will collect him/her from school at 5 strive to do that. If you say I won’t miss church please don’t miss church. Your principles are most likely to be your child’s involuntary life principles. How you conduct yourself in anger teaches your child how to respond to irritations in your rage remember your children. Violent spouses are groomed in violent homes. If you smoke three cigarettes a day your child will have a smoke legacy and take it to six. Your way of life as a father acts as the skeleton of your children’s lifetime values.
4) To protect his family. A real man protects his family from anything which is a threat to its well being. The threats might be natural or human; spiritual or physical; financial or idealistic. A great father plays his part well of preventing HIV-AIDS pandemic to have access to his own home by being faithful to his one and only sexual partner, his wife. It pains me to see innocent wives being murdered with AIDS because of an unfaithful husband. May God forbid you to be that cruel! If you were unfaithful and you know you are infected already, confess it to your wife and ensure that both of you use Antiretroviral drugs to minimise the damage. Confess (to your wife and God) and forsake your sins before. God is very willing to cleanse anyone from all unrighteousness.
5) To be very knowledgeable about his family. A father must know the needs and wants of his family. Know in detail how your child is doing in his/her schoolwork. Help your child with his/her homework that will make you realise his/her deficiencies and most importantly keep you closely attached to your child. No one must ever be shocked with his/her child’s performance in final examinations unless there was a sudden slump of performance. Paying your child’s school fees is not the only educational responsibility a father has. A father should also give career guidance to the child because that’s the ultimate goal of educating his child.
6) Right-networking his family. You are not always at home but you have a responsibility to monitor and to know who your kids are playing with and what they spend their time doing? Help your wife, in gentleness (since she is an adult), to closely associate with women who add value to her only. If you are not pleased with her choices as hard as it is, it will be high time to change where your home is. One preacher once said, ‘you choose your child’s friends by choosing the place you stay.’ The Bible says, ‘Forsake the foolish and live….’(Proverbs9v6)
7) To discipline his children. The Bible says, ‘Discipline your son while there is still hope…’ (Proverbs 19v18) and goes on to say, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.’ (Proverbs 22v6). Fathers have a responsibility to teach their children to have values, principles and morals above that they have a punishing role as well. One piece of advice; before you punish your child in any way, first show your unquestionable compassion. Teach your family to be responsible. Teach them to enjoy but not to waste especially food. Teach them financial principles like a fool and his money are soon parted. Never use debt for daily consumption; cut your jacket according to your cloth. Teach your family to be good neighbours, good students and good citizens. Teach them that life is not all about themselves but they are responsible for others as well for example the sick, elderly, prisoners, orphans etc. It takes a father’s considerable attention to have a disciplined child.
8) To decide where to get counsel in good and bad times. Hear me African men seeking counsel is not a sign of weakness or inadequacy but it’s a display of great wisdom because, ‘Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.’ (Prov 11v14). With your wife agree where you are comfortable to get counsel; they might be relatives, friends, fellow Christians or pastors. Make this choice early when things are still rosy since you will not easily agree in bad times. Fire extinguishers are not to be procured when there is a fire outbreak since it will be too late.
9) To make family life fun. The father determines the general atmosphere of the home. If he is always grave faced the home will be tense and if he is always smiling no one feels comfortable not being happy. Yes you can be angry but not for more than a day. Story telling during weekends might be the most memorable part of your family’s reflection. Dare to do a one-on-one meeting to just tell your child, ‘I am proud to be a father to such a wonderful child like you. In you I have realised that children are a gift from God. I love you – (say his/her name).’When you mess up please apologise. A few days after spanking your child talk to him/her what she thinks about it and explain yourself etc. Write your spouse and your kids some small love assurance letters occasionally. Let not a year pass without taking your family out because it refreshes your family environment. Your kids will have something new to talk about. Even the question, ‘when are we going to go out again,’ makes life different.
10) To control the size of the family. A responsible father has a greater financial responsibility for each child born. A child’s future must not be made a game of chance. This demands forward thinking prior to having a child. Agree with your wife the number of children you can comfortably afford to have. Get me right; nothing is wrong in having 20 children if you can afford to fend for the children and also if it does not endanger your wife’s health. On the other hand something is wrong if a couple has four children and go about begging for school fees every school term. I will insist on this point till Africans reproduce according to their financial capacity.
My Quotable Quote: It’s a great honour to be called a father but it calls for great sacrifices. In heaven God is dad and on earth the husband is the dad.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES by C.G. Kanyenze
VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONAL
Article: 03 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES
‘If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.’ 1 Timothy 5 v 8
I can’t say I have exhausted the major requirements of success if I omit the family factor in my writing. For success to be fulfilling, it needs to be evident in your own home. Success in public and failure at home will eventually amount to dismal failure. I have in mind the Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods and John Terry cases. Success is sweetest when you share it with the closest people you have in your life that is, your family. Companies are not insane in extending some of your benefits to your spouse and children like medical insurance, education etc. They know that they can’t get the most out of you with a neglected family at your back. The Bible goes on to say that if you neglect your own family you are worse than an unbeliever.
The pillars of a family are the husband and wife. If the pillars are strong then, the family structure can survive any ‘earthquake’. If the pillars are in discord the structure can crumble on the slightest pressure. This has led me to start these family series with what couples must do to make their marriages successful:-
Love one another. Jesus said they shall know that you are my disciples if you have love one for another John 13 v 35.The Bible in 1 John 4 v 8 goes to the extent of saying , ‘Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.’ You can’t have a happy marriage when you hate your spouse for whatever reason. Real love was defined in 1 Corinthians 13 v 4 – 8, ‘Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. LOVE NEVER ENDS….’
Thou shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20v14). Convince yourself and commit yourself only to your spouse and spouse alone. The Shona wise sociologists had this common phrase, `Zingizi gonyera pamwe maruwa enyika haaperi.’It can be paraphrased to, ‘There can be many beautiful ladies but you cannot love them all. Stick to one.’ Ask God for grace to only make him/her your only sexual partner. As much as you have convinced yourself that you can’t sleep with your brother or sister convince yourself that its taboo to have extra-marital affairs. Judge Willem Van Der Merwe told Jacob Zuma on his rape trial, ‘If you can control your body and your sexual urges, then you will be a man, my son.’ In no uncertain terms the Bible says in Proverbs 6 v 32 (R.S.V), ‘He who commits adultery has no sense; he who does it destroys himself.’
Forgive each other. Have you realised that someone else’s weaknesses or mistakes seem to be greater than yours. The truth is both of you think the same so, be rationale and be ready to forgive as you will also need it at some point. We all make mistakes that’s why the Bible says in 1 John 1 v 8 , ‘If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.’ Taking it from Jesus, He who is perfect let him/her cast the stones on his/her spouse. We all mess up at some point in our lives so there is need to forgive always till we are glorified on the second coming of Jesus. If I once fought and offended my brother and today we are closest of friends why cant spouses do the same? Divorce comes when one person gets to convince himself/herself that he/she is not going to forgive and terms that ‘irreconcilable differences with mate.’ Choose to forgive. Don’t keep grudges, conveniently air out your concern and move on. ‘He who covers an offence promotes love but, whoever repeats the matter separates intimate friends.’ (Proverbs 17v9). Repeating 1999 issues will not make your marriage better for progress sake please move on.
Respect each other. The best places to go are the places where you are respected. If you want your husband to be home in time respect him. If you want your wife to love you so much, respect her as well. Take heed of 1 Peter 3v 7 which says, ‘Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.’ Professional women get it from me,- men are not after business partners when looking for wives so don’t let your income earning capacity make you a husband as well. Give your husband the honour and position he deserves (Ephesians5 v 22, 23) and he is also compelled by God to love you as much as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5 v 25.
Be honest. How can you claim to be close to your spouse when you don’t tell him/her the truth? What makes you free is the truth according to John8 v32. You ought to be like Jesus who says in John 14 v 6, ‘I am the truth….’ If you choose to lie get this; ‘The devil is the father of lies when he speaks lies he is speaking his native language. (John8v 44). Don’t identify with the devil he is too evil to be your father. I asked a certain lady what is her biggest lesson from her marriage and to my amazement she said, ‘Never trust a man.’ That told me that someone became dishonest and unfaithful somewhere along the marriage highway.
Be confidential. Criticise privately and praise publicly. ‘A talebearer (gossiper) revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.’ Proverbs 11v13. Who would like to divulge any meaningful information in his/her bedroom only to hear it told in the streets? Saying bad things about your spouse to your friends or relatives will not help to solve your issues. When you need counselling find counsellors who can be confided in.
Be focussed and committed to your marriage and family goals. Think, analyse and strategise to make your marriage the best it can be. You can do a SWOT analysis of your spouse and have strategic plans to deal with contentious issues with your mate. Haven’t you seen articles written on how to deal with a troublesome boss? Your spouse is not troublesome as such; so he/she can be dealt with tactically with wisdom from above. Strategic planning is not for businesses and companies alone. You can as well do family strategic planning to deal with difficult members. Sit down, plan, strategise, budget and implement family objectives together. How can two walk together unless they agree? You can’t make any progress with no common standpoint.
Appreciate each other and be each other’s cheer leader. Convince yourself that your spouse is the best person anyone could ever have had and tell him/her that. Make each other feel like a champion in everything. Let him/her walk on cloud nine. Be his/her greatest cheer leader (chief supporter). Celebrate your spouse’s victories more than anyone else on earth. Encourage each other good or bad times. This way you make yourself indispensable come what may. Make your home the best place you can ever be in. Don’t become your spouse’s worst adversary. Support your spouse through and through. Husbands remember your wives are still interested in those surprise gifts even after marriage. Wives don’t forget that your husbands are still as interested in seeing you looking splendid just like when you were still dating.
Have a teachable spirit. No one is perfect so you are someone who is being processed to become a real person. Your spouse is one person who would like to see you improve the most, so take his/her feedback as the active ingredient for your growth and not as criticism or a symbol of not being loved. Yes you can object on how it is said but don’t get to say, ‘I don’t want to hear about it.’ That’s denial of reality because your not hearing about it does not mean your spouse has no opinion on it. Admit correction and pay attention to issues in question. Don’t be defensive, just ask for his/her patience.
Use your tongue wisely and manage your anger. The wise wrote, ‘A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15v1). He goes further to radically point out, ‘Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.’(Proverbs 29v20). In my opinion wrong use of words is the biggest cause of divorce. Adultery itself is a result of wrong use of words unless its rape. Pray like David, ‘Set a watch (guard), O lord, before my mouth, keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141 v 3. The Bible precisely state, ‘…let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.’ (James 1 v 19).
Love your in-laws. A lady can’t hate her mother-in-law or father-in-law and expect a perfect relationship with her husband. At worst respect and love your husband’s parents just for birthing your spouse. Likewise the husband has a duty to love the in-laws as well since they are the people who brought about the existence of his beloved wife. Blood is at times thicker than the marriage bond; don’t poison your relationship by bad talking your in-laws especially to your spouse.
Remove the word divorce from your dictionary. If God hates divorce (Malachi 2v 16) why would like to provoke him by making it a possibility in your marriage. Remember divorce starts in the mind. If you make it an option the opportunity will always arise. If you disregard it only opportunities of reconciliation will arise.
Prepare for challenges and adversities. Be prepared to face challenges and be committed to do whatever it takes to overcome them. Most divorcees get to endure second marriages and they keep regretting thinking if only had they endured a bit longer in the first marriage , life could have been better. Accept it, challenges inevitably come; even Jesus told His disciples, "It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come…” (Luke 17v1). Accept the uniqueness of your spouse. Celebrate diversity of your opinions. You are two individuals who came together at times agree to disagree. Don’t win an argument but get further away from your spouse.
My Quotable Quote: Successful minds are grown in successful families.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. To receive the articles directly write to cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ .
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Article: 03 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES
‘If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.’ 1 Timothy 5 v 8
I can’t say I have exhausted the major requirements of success if I omit the family factor in my writing. For success to be fulfilling, it needs to be evident in your own home. Success in public and failure at home will eventually amount to dismal failure. I have in mind the Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods and John Terry cases. Success is sweetest when you share it with the closest people you have in your life that is, your family. Companies are not insane in extending some of your benefits to your spouse and children like medical insurance, education etc. They know that they can’t get the most out of you with a neglected family at your back. The Bible goes on to say that if you neglect your own family you are worse than an unbeliever.
The pillars of a family are the husband and wife. If the pillars are strong then, the family structure can survive any ‘earthquake’. If the pillars are in discord the structure can crumble on the slightest pressure. This has led me to start these family series with what couples must do to make their marriages successful:-
Love one another. Jesus said they shall know that you are my disciples if you have love one for another John 13 v 35.The Bible in 1 John 4 v 8 goes to the extent of saying , ‘Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.’ You can’t have a happy marriage when you hate your spouse for whatever reason. Real love was defined in 1 Corinthians 13 v 4 – 8, ‘Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. LOVE NEVER ENDS….’
Thou shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20v14). Convince yourself and commit yourself only to your spouse and spouse alone. The Shona wise sociologists had this common phrase, `Zingizi gonyera pamwe maruwa enyika haaperi.’It can be paraphrased to, ‘There can be many beautiful ladies but you cannot love them all. Stick to one.’ Ask God for grace to only make him/her your only sexual partner. As much as you have convinced yourself that you can’t sleep with your brother or sister convince yourself that its taboo to have extra-marital affairs. Judge Willem Van Der Merwe told Jacob Zuma on his rape trial, ‘If you can control your body and your sexual urges, then you will be a man, my son.’ In no uncertain terms the Bible says in Proverbs 6 v 32 (R.S.V), ‘He who commits adultery has no sense; he who does it destroys himself.’
Forgive each other. Have you realised that someone else’s weaknesses or mistakes seem to be greater than yours. The truth is both of you think the same so, be rationale and be ready to forgive as you will also need it at some point. We all make mistakes that’s why the Bible says in 1 John 1 v 8 , ‘If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.’ Taking it from Jesus, He who is perfect let him/her cast the stones on his/her spouse. We all mess up at some point in our lives so there is need to forgive always till we are glorified on the second coming of Jesus. If I once fought and offended my brother and today we are closest of friends why cant spouses do the same? Divorce comes when one person gets to convince himself/herself that he/she is not going to forgive and terms that ‘irreconcilable differences with mate.’ Choose to forgive. Don’t keep grudges, conveniently air out your concern and move on. ‘He who covers an offence promotes love but, whoever repeats the matter separates intimate friends.’ (Proverbs 17v9). Repeating 1999 issues will not make your marriage better for progress sake please move on.
Respect each other. The best places to go are the places where you are respected. If you want your husband to be home in time respect him. If you want your wife to love you so much, respect her as well. Take heed of 1 Peter 3v 7 which says, ‘Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.’ Professional women get it from me,- men are not after business partners when looking for wives so don’t let your income earning capacity make you a husband as well. Give your husband the honour and position he deserves (Ephesians5 v 22, 23) and he is also compelled by God to love you as much as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5 v 25.
Be honest. How can you claim to be close to your spouse when you don’t tell him/her the truth? What makes you free is the truth according to John8 v32. You ought to be like Jesus who says in John 14 v 6, ‘I am the truth….’ If you choose to lie get this; ‘The devil is the father of lies when he speaks lies he is speaking his native language. (John8v 44). Don’t identify with the devil he is too evil to be your father. I asked a certain lady what is her biggest lesson from her marriage and to my amazement she said, ‘Never trust a man.’ That told me that someone became dishonest and unfaithful somewhere along the marriage highway.
Be confidential. Criticise privately and praise publicly. ‘A talebearer (gossiper) revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.’ Proverbs 11v13. Who would like to divulge any meaningful information in his/her bedroom only to hear it told in the streets? Saying bad things about your spouse to your friends or relatives will not help to solve your issues. When you need counselling find counsellors who can be confided in.
Be focussed and committed to your marriage and family goals. Think, analyse and strategise to make your marriage the best it can be. You can do a SWOT analysis of your spouse and have strategic plans to deal with contentious issues with your mate. Haven’t you seen articles written on how to deal with a troublesome boss? Your spouse is not troublesome as such; so he/she can be dealt with tactically with wisdom from above. Strategic planning is not for businesses and companies alone. You can as well do family strategic planning to deal with difficult members. Sit down, plan, strategise, budget and implement family objectives together. How can two walk together unless they agree? You can’t make any progress with no common standpoint.
Appreciate each other and be each other’s cheer leader. Convince yourself that your spouse is the best person anyone could ever have had and tell him/her that. Make each other feel like a champion in everything. Let him/her walk on cloud nine. Be his/her greatest cheer leader (chief supporter). Celebrate your spouse’s victories more than anyone else on earth. Encourage each other good or bad times. This way you make yourself indispensable come what may. Make your home the best place you can ever be in. Don’t become your spouse’s worst adversary. Support your spouse through and through. Husbands remember your wives are still interested in those surprise gifts even after marriage. Wives don’t forget that your husbands are still as interested in seeing you looking splendid just like when you were still dating.
Have a teachable spirit. No one is perfect so you are someone who is being processed to become a real person. Your spouse is one person who would like to see you improve the most, so take his/her feedback as the active ingredient for your growth and not as criticism or a symbol of not being loved. Yes you can object on how it is said but don’t get to say, ‘I don’t want to hear about it.’ That’s denial of reality because your not hearing about it does not mean your spouse has no opinion on it. Admit correction and pay attention to issues in question. Don’t be defensive, just ask for his/her patience.
Use your tongue wisely and manage your anger. The wise wrote, ‘A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15v1). He goes further to radically point out, ‘Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.’(Proverbs 29v20). In my opinion wrong use of words is the biggest cause of divorce. Adultery itself is a result of wrong use of words unless its rape. Pray like David, ‘Set a watch (guard), O lord, before my mouth, keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141 v 3. The Bible precisely state, ‘…let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.’ (James 1 v 19).
Love your in-laws. A lady can’t hate her mother-in-law or father-in-law and expect a perfect relationship with her husband. At worst respect and love your husband’s parents just for birthing your spouse. Likewise the husband has a duty to love the in-laws as well since they are the people who brought about the existence of his beloved wife. Blood is at times thicker than the marriage bond; don’t poison your relationship by bad talking your in-laws especially to your spouse.
Remove the word divorce from your dictionary. If God hates divorce (Malachi 2v 16) why would like to provoke him by making it a possibility in your marriage. Remember divorce starts in the mind. If you make it an option the opportunity will always arise. If you disregard it only opportunities of reconciliation will arise.
Prepare for challenges and adversities. Be prepared to face challenges and be committed to do whatever it takes to overcome them. Most divorcees get to endure second marriages and they keep regretting thinking if only had they endured a bit longer in the first marriage , life could have been better. Accept it, challenges inevitably come; even Jesus told His disciples, "It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come…” (Luke 17v1). Accept the uniqueness of your spouse. Celebrate diversity of your opinions. You are two individuals who came together at times agree to disagree. Don’t win an argument but get further away from your spouse.
My Quotable Quote: Successful minds are grown in successful families.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. To receive the articles directly write to cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ .
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A 2010 QUICK START
VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONAL
Article: 02 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
A 2010 QUICK START
‘If the foundations are broken what will the righteous do?’ Psalm 11v 3
We are now in a new season so we need to have a very strong foundation for the
season to end right. We need some hints, tips and strategies for the 2010 season to be the most fruitful of all the seasons we have ever had. I felt compelled to give you 12 success tips for you to prosper in this year. Wallace D. Wattles correctly put it across when he wrote, ‘an ounce of doing things is worth a pound of theorising,’ reading and not attempting to implement these tips will not do you any good.
a) Life Goals – In life you need a few main goals which you should achieve
before you die. If you haven’t thought of them and if you have not written
them down then, you need to get down to serious business. Sit down and think
deeply about it. From these main goals draft the next 25 year plan, the next
decade the next 5 year plan then draft the 2010 plan. Don’t do it in the reverse.
This year’s plan must take into consideration the grand plan of your life.
Remember that not planning is planning to fail. Before Christ was born, God
already had a plan of his death as seen when it was prophesied in Isaiah 53v5, ‘…by His stripes we are healed….’
b) Fear God –‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools
despise wisdom and instruction’ Proverbs 1v7. Without fearing and pleasing
God you are too vulnerable to the sabotages of the devil and your enemies.
You need to be in sync with divinity for you to live a blessed life. By
honouring God you will be delivered from diseases, poverty and any other
schemes of the devil against your life. Godliness delivers from the snares of
life. There are certain people whom the police will not accept as suspects of
criminal activities because they live godly lives. Honouring God also demands
that you treat your neighbour as well as you want to be treated. For you to
succeed in life be good to people. Corporate organisations realised this and
they have made social responsibility a major corporate governance issue. No
one achieved greatness by disregarding the rights of his community, workers
and family. You also have the duty to be good to all people you get to interact
with including the unlovable.
c) Respect Time- ‘Redeeming the times for the days are evil.’ Eph 5 v16. This
verse is very clear in Shona it goes ‘Tichingwariririra nguva….’ We must
redeem (buying back) the time we lost by living aimless lives. We cannot
afford to lose more time by living aimless lives in 2010. We need to be more
focussed and passionate about succeeding in all our endeavours. If you ever
get involved in something, do it in the least possible time in an excellent
manner to save time. To lose time is to lose life itself because life is measured
in time terms. Have time-bound goals and respect those deadlines you set. If
you make appointments meet the time requirements. Be time conscious and
time sensitive in every task you carry out. Why should you start a task without
knowing the approximate time it will take to do a good job? Some tasks were
badly done just because people ran out of time. Slow but sure is not always the
best you can be quick and sure most of the times. The statement, ‘No hurry in
Africa,’ is taboo to a progressive, productive person but still others use it in
the way they execute their tasks. On creating the earth God did a quick 6 day
job why should you live without a sense of urgency.
d) Respect money - Take heed of the wise proverb, ‘A fool and his money are
soon parted.’ Strategise how to retain your income. It is the nature of money
that when you have it in your pocket you feel like spending it hurriedly.
Spending is a nice experience most of the time; it’s only that at times the
consequence on financial reserves is what forces us not to just use our feelings
in spending. Cut your jacket according to the size of your cloth. Live within
your means. You never need to act as if you have a lot of money in life except
in your internal faith talk. Don’t eat in restaurants which make you struggle to
the next pay day. Don’t window shop with all your salary in your wallet or
handbag because you will spend it regrettably. Don’t go to the mall without a
shopping list in order to overcome the temptation of buying every other good
thing in the supermarket. By the way with money in your pockets goods seem
cheaper and your pocket fatter only to come to face your financial reality at
home.
e) Invest and save for the future- Saving for emergencies is not an optional
idea and as long as you are growing old you need to invest for the after work
life that is, retrenchment or pension period. If your current salary is not
adequate what more when you get just a third of it with no medical insurance
company willing to enter you into its books because your bills will be too
high. The time to prepare for that is now. Remember children are not the best
insurance scheme because they might choose not to help as much as you
would want to be helped especially financially. Have a life financial goal and
from it derive your 2010 financial plan and budget. It’s not a good idea to
spend everything you earn every month, save some amount no matter how
small, half a loaf is better than nothing.
f) Read and write - In Habakkuk 2 v 1 God tells the prophet, ‘Write the vision,
make it plain upon tablets, so he may run who reads it.’ What an instruction to
visionaries? As Africans we have a problem of not reading and writing unless
we are compelled to. In African schools, for example, students only write
assignments and letters for more pocket money. To most of us Africans
serious reading ends with the end of school curriculum. In your lineage how
many people wrote their autobiographies or anything which was printed for
future generations except school notes? Great African wisdom was lost
because no one bothered to write it down. No wonder African schools are dead
through out the year only to be a hype of activity towards examinations. A few
of some who do some thick volume book reading, its unproductive literature
like Mills and Boons and none on personal development not even their Bibles.
Resolve and commit yourself to become a progressive reader. Remember
readers are leaders. Have a diary to write notable daily events to start with. Do
you know that even in heaven books are being written one of them is called
the book of life. If God has need of books what more about you. Jesus
overcame the devil himself by quoting what is written.
g) Bloom where you are planted – Before you get where you wish to be, excel where you are like Joseph in Potiphar’s house and in the prison before he
became the Egyptian governor. Wallace D. Wattles stated it precisely in his
book The Science of Getting Rich, ‘You cannot act where you are not, you
cannot act where you have been and you cannot act where you are going to
be; you can act only where you are…Do not wait for a change of environment
before you act; get a change of environment by action.’ Use your present
position as a means of getting to a better one by showing diligency, excellency
and great ability.
h) Be optimistic and expectant - ‘I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God in the in the land of the living. (Psalm 27v13-14). In every situation even at a funeral of a beloved be very positive.When an unpleasant incident happens don’t regard yourself as an unfortunate person with a bad omen. There is always a good part to everything bad which happens, at the minimal you learn how not to do things next time. Never carry a victim mentality or entertain the thought that says, this is the end of me.Believe that heaven is working behind the scenes to make your life enjoyable.Positivity destroys invisible and visible barriers from your life. The positivity of Barack Obama rocked America that even racists forgot that they were racists and went to vote for a Kenyan by descent. Learn from employers, they will never give a job to a negative candidate no matter how qualified the
candidate might be. Seek God’s grace in prayer for you to be positive if you
think it’s impossible for you to be positive-minded.
i) Confess positively-The Bible says, ‘Life and death are in the power of the
tongue.’(Proverbs 18v21). Speak positive words even in negative situations.
Remember you were created in the likeness of God and one of the aspects is of
creating things using words like what God did in Genesis chapter 1 and 2.
Never say, ‘Zvakapressa,’ instead say my mind works better under pressure.
Do not say nothing is moving in my life say ‘Though things are slow it is well
with my soul. Instead of saying, I’m very unlucky say, ‘I am blessed, and I
cannot be disadvantaged.’ Never say, ‘I never get promoted,’ say, ‘This year is
my turn to get a promotion.’ Don’t confess what you don’t want instead,
confess what you want. God on creation did not confess darkness but spoke
light and there was light. Instead of saying, ‘I don’t want to be poor,’ say, ‘I
want to be rich.’ Speak what you want not what is likely to happen or what
you fear. Do not say, ‘This year seems to be a difficult year,’ but say, ‘If ever
there is a year which I am going to prosper it’s this year.’
j) Prepare for adversity – The mere fact that once in a while adversities occur must teach us to lean on a divine God who can rescue us from tight spots but still we have our parts to play. The word preparation is not only to be
mentioned when talking about an expectant mother but in other facets of life.
In life As responsible people we must prepare for the unlikely. It’s a reality in
life that a parent can pass on to glory (die) 5 days before your pay-day. It’s a
reality that a family member might need to see the dentist for tooth filling or
plucking off therefore get some medical insurance. Its not unbelief to have a
spare wheel, jack spanner and a wheel spanner in your boot. Famines at times
visit humanity so you always need to have food stocks strategy like Joseph did
in Egypt. Companies are not wasting by buying and servicing fire
extinguishers. Jobs can be lost and so you must think beyond your monthly
pay cheque. Accidents do happen have car insurance. Wives can die in the
maternity ward so husbands pay your in-laws their lobola. I can hear ladies
say, ‘AMEN!’ On ladies now, it’s possible that you can become a widow so
increase your earning capacity. May all husbands say, ‘Amen!’
k) Spend time, relax and have fun with your beloveds – One of the greatest gift God gave you is neither your job nor a beer hall but it’s your family.
Relax and have fun with your family. The wise wrote, ‘A cheerful heart is
good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.’(Proverbs
17v22).In I Thessalonians 5v16 the great apostle Paul said, ‘Rejoice always.’
Yes life has challenges but don’t miss the fun. A grave face is a poor show of
manhood a gentleman smiles. In that rocky marriage you can still share a joke
with your tormentor. You can still laugh lying on a hospital bed. In a job
where you are being frustrated you can still have a pleasant working
experience working with colleagues. Even when you mess up things laugh at
yourself before others do. We don’t rejoice because we have no challenges but
at times we rejoice believing we will overcome challenges. Put funny beard
shave styles for your small kids to have fun during weekends. Make those
plastic balls (hweshe) and play with your kids once in a fortnight. Your kids
will cherish those moments when they grow up. I still remember running races
with my father when I was young. Share those clean jokes you read about with
your spouse, family, friends and even strangers. If you can, be your family’s
most comic person. If you can afford it take your family on an annual holiday
even going kumusha. Is it unrealistic and impossible for you to take your one
and only spouse who you so much love once a year for a hotel dinner that will
cost you $30 and which requires you to save less that $3 a month. If your wife
insists on a birthday cake is the Baker’s Inn $3.50 cake too expensive for you?
Once in a while spoil your family. You can still afford to smile even when
your pockets have run dry.
l) Review progress - Learn from God. After each creation day God reviewed His work. It is in one of these reviews that He saw that Adam needed a suitable
helper. Just think of it; as all knowing God is, He still reviewed His work.
How much more you, an imperfect being, need to review your work life? Use
your bedroom with your spouses to review your progress in life since you got
married. To young men and young women use those slow courtship-roadwalks to review progress of your relationships. Use those evening family talks
to review the family progress. How can you achieve continuous improvement
in life when you don’t even know how you are currently performing? Life
without reviews is like a school where questions are neither asked in the
classroom nor in the final examination.
My Quotable Quote: For you to have 2010 as the best of years does not necessarily mean it will be the year with the least challenges but it can be great in that you managed to overcome them all.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. The wisdom presented is Bible based and it is currently circulated for free to people who aspire to be significant people in this world. All issues that affect the fulfilment of vision of each human being are addressed. The founder of Vision Growth International has been specifically called by God ‘to mentor others in these changing times.’ To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on
www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
Article: 02 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)
A 2010 QUICK START
‘If the foundations are broken what will the righteous do?’ Psalm 11v 3
We are now in a new season so we need to have a very strong foundation for the
season to end right. We need some hints, tips and strategies for the 2010 season to be the most fruitful of all the seasons we have ever had. I felt compelled to give you 12 success tips for you to prosper in this year. Wallace D. Wattles correctly put it across when he wrote, ‘an ounce of doing things is worth a pound of theorising,’ reading and not attempting to implement these tips will not do you any good.
a) Life Goals – In life you need a few main goals which you should achieve
before you die. If you haven’t thought of them and if you have not written
them down then, you need to get down to serious business. Sit down and think
deeply about it. From these main goals draft the next 25 year plan, the next
decade the next 5 year plan then draft the 2010 plan. Don’t do it in the reverse.
This year’s plan must take into consideration the grand plan of your life.
Remember that not planning is planning to fail. Before Christ was born, God
already had a plan of his death as seen when it was prophesied in Isaiah 53v5, ‘…by His stripes we are healed….’
b) Fear God –‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools
despise wisdom and instruction’ Proverbs 1v7. Without fearing and pleasing
God you are too vulnerable to the sabotages of the devil and your enemies.
You need to be in sync with divinity for you to live a blessed life. By
honouring God you will be delivered from diseases, poverty and any other
schemes of the devil against your life. Godliness delivers from the snares of
life. There are certain people whom the police will not accept as suspects of
criminal activities because they live godly lives. Honouring God also demands
that you treat your neighbour as well as you want to be treated. For you to
succeed in life be good to people. Corporate organisations realised this and
they have made social responsibility a major corporate governance issue. No
one achieved greatness by disregarding the rights of his community, workers
and family. You also have the duty to be good to all people you get to interact
with including the unlovable.
c) Respect Time- ‘Redeeming the times for the days are evil.’ Eph 5 v16. This
verse is very clear in Shona it goes ‘Tichingwariririra nguva….’ We must
redeem (buying back) the time we lost by living aimless lives. We cannot
afford to lose more time by living aimless lives in 2010. We need to be more
focussed and passionate about succeeding in all our endeavours. If you ever
get involved in something, do it in the least possible time in an excellent
manner to save time. To lose time is to lose life itself because life is measured
in time terms. Have time-bound goals and respect those deadlines you set. If
you make appointments meet the time requirements. Be time conscious and
time sensitive in every task you carry out. Why should you start a task without
knowing the approximate time it will take to do a good job? Some tasks were
badly done just because people ran out of time. Slow but sure is not always the
best you can be quick and sure most of the times. The statement, ‘No hurry in
Africa,’ is taboo to a progressive, productive person but still others use it in
the way they execute their tasks. On creating the earth God did a quick 6 day
job why should you live without a sense of urgency.
d) Respect money - Take heed of the wise proverb, ‘A fool and his money are
soon parted.’ Strategise how to retain your income. It is the nature of money
that when you have it in your pocket you feel like spending it hurriedly.
Spending is a nice experience most of the time; it’s only that at times the
consequence on financial reserves is what forces us not to just use our feelings
in spending. Cut your jacket according to the size of your cloth. Live within
your means. You never need to act as if you have a lot of money in life except
in your internal faith talk. Don’t eat in restaurants which make you struggle to
the next pay day. Don’t window shop with all your salary in your wallet or
handbag because you will spend it regrettably. Don’t go to the mall without a
shopping list in order to overcome the temptation of buying every other good
thing in the supermarket. By the way with money in your pockets goods seem
cheaper and your pocket fatter only to come to face your financial reality at
home.
e) Invest and save for the future- Saving for emergencies is not an optional
idea and as long as you are growing old you need to invest for the after work
life that is, retrenchment or pension period. If your current salary is not
adequate what more when you get just a third of it with no medical insurance
company willing to enter you into its books because your bills will be too
high. The time to prepare for that is now. Remember children are not the best
insurance scheme because they might choose not to help as much as you
would want to be helped especially financially. Have a life financial goal and
from it derive your 2010 financial plan and budget. It’s not a good idea to
spend everything you earn every month, save some amount no matter how
small, half a loaf is better than nothing.
f) Read and write - In Habakkuk 2 v 1 God tells the prophet, ‘Write the vision,
make it plain upon tablets, so he may run who reads it.’ What an instruction to
visionaries? As Africans we have a problem of not reading and writing unless
we are compelled to. In African schools, for example, students only write
assignments and letters for more pocket money. To most of us Africans
serious reading ends with the end of school curriculum. In your lineage how
many people wrote their autobiographies or anything which was printed for
future generations except school notes? Great African wisdom was lost
because no one bothered to write it down. No wonder African schools are dead
through out the year only to be a hype of activity towards examinations. A few
of some who do some thick volume book reading, its unproductive literature
like Mills and Boons and none on personal development not even their Bibles.
Resolve and commit yourself to become a progressive reader. Remember
readers are leaders. Have a diary to write notable daily events to start with. Do
you know that even in heaven books are being written one of them is called
the book of life. If God has need of books what more about you. Jesus
overcame the devil himself by quoting what is written.
g) Bloom where you are planted – Before you get where you wish to be, excel where you are like Joseph in Potiphar’s house and in the prison before he
became the Egyptian governor. Wallace D. Wattles stated it precisely in his
book The Science of Getting Rich, ‘You cannot act where you are not, you
cannot act where you have been and you cannot act where you are going to
be; you can act only where you are…Do not wait for a change of environment
before you act; get a change of environment by action.’ Use your present
position as a means of getting to a better one by showing diligency, excellency
and great ability.
h) Be optimistic and expectant - ‘I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God in the in the land of the living. (Psalm 27v13-14). In every situation even at a funeral of a beloved be very positive.When an unpleasant incident happens don’t regard yourself as an unfortunate person with a bad omen. There is always a good part to everything bad which happens, at the minimal you learn how not to do things next time. Never carry a victim mentality or entertain the thought that says, this is the end of me.Believe that heaven is working behind the scenes to make your life enjoyable.Positivity destroys invisible and visible barriers from your life. The positivity of Barack Obama rocked America that even racists forgot that they were racists and went to vote for a Kenyan by descent. Learn from employers, they will never give a job to a negative candidate no matter how qualified the
candidate might be. Seek God’s grace in prayer for you to be positive if you
think it’s impossible for you to be positive-minded.
i) Confess positively-The Bible says, ‘Life and death are in the power of the
tongue.’(Proverbs 18v21). Speak positive words even in negative situations.
Remember you were created in the likeness of God and one of the aspects is of
creating things using words like what God did in Genesis chapter 1 and 2.
Never say, ‘Zvakapressa,’ instead say my mind works better under pressure.
Do not say nothing is moving in my life say ‘Though things are slow it is well
with my soul. Instead of saying, I’m very unlucky say, ‘I am blessed, and I
cannot be disadvantaged.’ Never say, ‘I never get promoted,’ say, ‘This year is
my turn to get a promotion.’ Don’t confess what you don’t want instead,
confess what you want. God on creation did not confess darkness but spoke
light and there was light. Instead of saying, ‘I don’t want to be poor,’ say, ‘I
want to be rich.’ Speak what you want not what is likely to happen or what
you fear. Do not say, ‘This year seems to be a difficult year,’ but say, ‘If ever
there is a year which I am going to prosper it’s this year.’
j) Prepare for adversity – The mere fact that once in a while adversities occur must teach us to lean on a divine God who can rescue us from tight spots but still we have our parts to play. The word preparation is not only to be
mentioned when talking about an expectant mother but in other facets of life.
In life As responsible people we must prepare for the unlikely. It’s a reality in
life that a parent can pass on to glory (die) 5 days before your pay-day. It’s a
reality that a family member might need to see the dentist for tooth filling or
plucking off therefore get some medical insurance. Its not unbelief to have a
spare wheel, jack spanner and a wheel spanner in your boot. Famines at times
visit humanity so you always need to have food stocks strategy like Joseph did
in Egypt. Companies are not wasting by buying and servicing fire
extinguishers. Jobs can be lost and so you must think beyond your monthly
pay cheque. Accidents do happen have car insurance. Wives can die in the
maternity ward so husbands pay your in-laws their lobola. I can hear ladies
say, ‘AMEN!’ On ladies now, it’s possible that you can become a widow so
increase your earning capacity. May all husbands say, ‘Amen!’
k) Spend time, relax and have fun with your beloveds – One of the greatest gift God gave you is neither your job nor a beer hall but it’s your family.
Relax and have fun with your family. The wise wrote, ‘A cheerful heart is
good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.’(Proverbs
17v22).In I Thessalonians 5v16 the great apostle Paul said, ‘Rejoice always.’
Yes life has challenges but don’t miss the fun. A grave face is a poor show of
manhood a gentleman smiles. In that rocky marriage you can still share a joke
with your tormentor. You can still laugh lying on a hospital bed. In a job
where you are being frustrated you can still have a pleasant working
experience working with colleagues. Even when you mess up things laugh at
yourself before others do. We don’t rejoice because we have no challenges but
at times we rejoice believing we will overcome challenges. Put funny beard
shave styles for your small kids to have fun during weekends. Make those
plastic balls (hweshe) and play with your kids once in a fortnight. Your kids
will cherish those moments when they grow up. I still remember running races
with my father when I was young. Share those clean jokes you read about with
your spouse, family, friends and even strangers. If you can, be your family’s
most comic person. If you can afford it take your family on an annual holiday
even going kumusha. Is it unrealistic and impossible for you to take your one
and only spouse who you so much love once a year for a hotel dinner that will
cost you $30 and which requires you to save less that $3 a month. If your wife
insists on a birthday cake is the Baker’s Inn $3.50 cake too expensive for you?
Once in a while spoil your family. You can still afford to smile even when
your pockets have run dry.
l) Review progress - Learn from God. After each creation day God reviewed His work. It is in one of these reviews that He saw that Adam needed a suitable
helper. Just think of it; as all knowing God is, He still reviewed His work.
How much more you, an imperfect being, need to review your work life? Use
your bedroom with your spouses to review your progress in life since you got
married. To young men and young women use those slow courtship-roadwalks to review progress of your relationships. Use those evening family talks
to review the family progress. How can you achieve continuous improvement
in life when you don’t even know how you are currently performing? Life
without reviews is like a school where questions are neither asked in the
classroom nor in the final examination.
My Quotable Quote: For you to have 2010 as the best of years does not necessarily mean it will be the year with the least challenges but it can be great in that you managed to overcome them all.
Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. The wisdom presented is Bible based and it is currently circulated for free to people who aspire to be significant people in this world. All issues that affect the fulfilment of vision of each human being are addressed. The founder of Vision Growth International has been specifically called by God ‘to mentor others in these changing times.’ To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on
www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com
©Vision Growth International (V.G.I) Publications 2010.
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