Our Duty To Our Parents

VISION GROWTH INTERNATIONAL
Article: 06 / 2010 (written by C.G Kanyenze)

OUR DUTY TO OUR PARENTS

‘If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.’ Proverbs 20v20


Every person on earth was born by a mother and has a male person who fathered him/her. This makes this article relevant to every reader. Even if you have lost all your parents you have some people who play the parental role in spiritual, social or career circles. In this article I am highlighting what you ought to do to your parents.

I heard of a church here in Zimbabwe where there was an outpouring of blessings which came after the pastor instructed the congregants to bring their parents to town and buy them something significant. Those who obeyed got things from God which they had never received after long prayer and fasting sessions. In my personal life, my father cared the most for his mother and he died the most blessed compared to all his siblings. One of my elder brothers sacrificed the most for our family’s well being; he was my guardian from Form One till now; and he has been blessed way ahead of every other person in our family. These are not mere coincidental incidents found in life. I am convinced the parents in question are the source of these blessings. With my eyes I have seen what I have written about changing people’s lives. I can say with confidence this article will change your life for the better if you take heed.

Hating/hurting/offending your parents will take you nowhere. The Shona people had an idea of this when they said that that if you beat your mother for whatever reason you will be haunted (kutanda botso) and some say, you can even go mad. Its taboo to hit your father (baba havarohwi).This reinforces that it is a great moral value to respect your parents. Paul writes Timothy saying, ‘Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father….’ (1 Timothy 5 v 1). It’s like witchcraft to hate your parents. How can you say you love your father in heaven if you can’t love your father on earth who you can see? The prodigal son in Luke 15 was spot on, he knew there was no way he could offend his earthly father without offending his heavenly Father. You might not like or feel like respecting your parents but it is God’s command. You just have no option but you have to follow His commands lest you become a rebellious child like Lucifer.

Learn from the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Noah. They spoke blessings into their children and whatever they spoke into their lives came to pass. To those who spoke a curse into some of their children’s lives till this day it’s still evident in the descendants of these cursed tribes. Some blessings cannot be prayed for in churches, they are hidden in your parents’ mouth. Don’t allow your parents to speak a curse into your life for any genuine reason because God honours their words. The only exception is when their curse is baseless that is where Proverbs 26v2 comes into play which says, ‘a curse causeless will not come.’



Putting a smile on your parent’s face is as good as getting a smile from heaven. By simply putting a smile on your parent’s face you obtain some favour from God. Some long awaited promotions are going to come into your life if you simply do well to your parents and seek forgiveness for any misunderstanding you had with them. Even when you were not really wrong what do you lose by saying I am sorry? Open the floodgates of blessings from your parents’ mouth by constantly doing them good. It’s not out of this world for you to visit your parents neither is it too expensive for you even to write them a letter once every six months? Get used to doing well to your parents because significant breakthroughs are in your parents’ comments about you.

When our parents are in old age it is our responsibility as their children to care for them and to grant them medical attention. We must make sure they are having good nutrition, good warm clothes and that they are well looked after. It brings a curse on your life to neglect your parents. In most families you will never reach consensus as children as to what each person must do for the parents; just do your part even in isolation and God will see your sacrifice and reward you accordingly as an individual. Be good to your parents even if they get to the level of losing their minds, just do your best. Some become very difficult to please in old age but be patient with them and some day you will understand why when you are old yourself. The God whom I serve will reward every labour of love you show towards your parents; don’t relent, your reward from heaven is on the way.

To respect and to honour your parents is the first commandment of the ten which God attached a promise with (Ephesians 6v 2). The promise to observers of this instruction is invaluable – God adds more life to you. So some deaths of youths are a result of failing to observe this law. For example no parent wants his/her child to be a prostitute, if a child dishonours his/her parents by being promiscuous and gets infected by HIV what has killed this person? You are right what would have killed this child is dishonouring his/her parents. God is also a parent that’s why he emphasises that we must respect our parents. How can we claim to love the invisible Parent when we can’t respect our visible biological parents? What you say you will do to God if he was human do it to your parents. He will respect such deeds as good as if you have done them to Him directly.

Many Christians struggle to love their heathen parents but on the contrary God never said respect your good parents only. He said respect your parents and that’s it. He knew some will have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and want to discard their parents. In the new found Kingdom (Christian) life, don’t forget it’s your parent who changed your nappies not your pastor; it’s your parent who paid your school fees not church offerings. You stayed in your parents’ home not parsonage. You ate your parents’ food not Holy Communion. For nine months you were in your mother’s womb not in a crusade tent. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. I am a Christian and I am by no means contemplating that you leave your church obligations and look after your parents. No! I am saying balance the two. God asks for a tithe and on the remaining 90% there is what you must set aside for your parents as well. May all readers say, ‘Amen!’

Your parents–in-law are as good as your parents, respect them as well. If your spouse is cursed you are equally cursed. It’s so because you share your lives; you better help him/her to be blessed by his/her parents. Fathers, it’s a show of great respect to your parents-in-law to pay them their full lobola. To mothers, it’s very evil to accuse your mothers-in-law of witchcraft. You can’t do it without hurting your husband. Even if she is a witch for real, be grateful for the mere fact that she did not eat her child, your husband so respect her for that. By God’s standards even enemies (in this case a witch) must be loved; maybe it’s just that she is hard-hearted but she is not a witch, who knows? Also turning on you the accuser, ‘When did you start moving in the gift of discernment with 100% precision?’ If you are that accurate, ‘Why couldn’t you pick it when you were still dating that your spouse is mothered by a witch?’ Witches are there I admit but here I am saying, ‘If God allows his sun to shine to these witches and let’s his rains to fall on their fields who are you to withhold your love from them especially when you are now closely related to them?’ You are not perfect, tolerate other people’s shortcomings.

Mind the way you speak to your parents. That’s one avenue we get to offend our parents most of the times unintentionally. Minimise quarrelling with your parents even on general subjects for example politics or church issues. You can wisely preach Christ to them without arguing with them. Too few people have ever repented because of an argument they had on issues of Christ and the Holy Ghost. The easiest way to preach to your parents is firstly to get their attention by doing them the best. First show them love and you will easily get heard when you start preaching about Christ to them. Your sermon is most powerful if backed with unquestionable love.

I am not a disillusioned writer by writing this article. I really know that some parents have been very nasty to their children. Some fathers denied their children parenthood, some got to the extent of sexually abusing their children. Some mothers cast evil spells on their children just because they refused to join them in witchcraft. Some mothers sweared that their daughters will never get married for no justifiable reasons. I am aware of all this but I insist that as unreasonable as they were/are; love and respect them. For the mere fact that you were in her womb for 9 months respect her as a mother. For the mere fact that he contributed his seed at fertilisation of your mother’s womb love and respect him as your father. It’s not your duty to punish him/her. God is the judge. Just do your part of honouring your parents as a child. Lest you all be equally to blame for falling short of meeting God’s commands.

One way you can also honour your parents is to prosper in your life. If your parents sent you to school and you excel that brings satisfaction to them with you enjoying the fruits more than them but they will be very proud of you. If you live right with your spouse you have added health to your parents because your divorce or separation makes their blood pressure shoot up. If you get arrested the dishonour of being called the parents of a criminal is too heart wrecking for their ailing health. Spare them from such cruelty. A parent of a drunkard has no joy because he/she will be seeing his/her child ruining himself. A parent of an unrepentant (non God fearing) child is concerned because his/her child is hell-bound. It’s not primitive or short sightedness for your parents to point you to Christ in prayers or words. Please help them by taking heed to what God instructs you to do (repenting and believing) and you won’t go wrong.

One of the core competencies of your parents which you cannot easily realise is their ability to counsel. They went through most of the things you are to go through in life and they are very capable and qualified to give you counsel. They might not be academically learned as you are but in life issues they are professors. Take heed of what you parents advises or advised you. For Solomon to ask for wisdom from God, his father David had taught him, ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore get wisdom; in all your getting get understanding.’ (Proverbs 4 v7). Take heed of what this Solomon gets to write, ‘My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them about your neck. When you walk they will lead you….’ (Proverbs 6v20-22).Your parents might not be the most perfect beings on earth but they are God given. Since they are God appointed so let’s honour them in every way possible. Remember this spiritual key - In whatever you do to your parents you are sowing seeds you will harvest in what your children will do to you in turn.

My Quotable Quote: You are a product of your parents’ sacrifices so respect them always.


Vision Growth International is a motivational company which is committed to the transformation of humanity through expression of simple yet profound divine wisdom to whosoever requires it. The wisdom presented is Bible based and it is currently circulated for free to people who aspire to be significant people in this world. All issues that affect the fulfilment of vision of each human being are addressed. The founder of Vision Growth International has been specifically called by God ‘to mentor others in these changing times.’ To receive the articles directly write to visiongrowthinternational@gmail.com or cgkanyenze@gmail.com with subject ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Unsubscribe’ if you are no longer interested. A blog is also available on www.visiongrowthinternational.blogspot.com

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